>What Do You Miss During Holy Week?
> I miss the times our family gather around the living room and watch movies in VHS tapes. I miss the times we all go and hear mass even if it was so early in the morning or late in the afternoon/evening. I miss the times we’re reprimanded to take a bath before 3pm every Good Friday or Black Saturday. I miss the times we watch 7th Heaven Marathon. I miss the times whenever there’s no electricity, we ALWAYS have the same food for dinner (I’m still not sure if Ate(maid) or Mommy or Daddy makes it intentional or not) – Monggo and Tinapa/Tilapia. I miss the times when we play “killer-killer” or Scrabble or Uno or Monopoly in the middle of the dark to get ourselves to sleep.
And above all else, I miss the times we were complete – even doing nothing.
What about you? What do you miss during Holy Week with your family, now that you live alone or away from them? Let’s reminisce =’ )
>OF FIRST TIMES AND BEYOND – PART II
>
Written: April 2 2011
It was one hell of a month. Right now, I honestly feel like I’m writing a Last Will and Testament. I feel there’s really something bad that’s going to happen to me. I don’t know what for the time being, but let’s not focus on that, shall we? I’m sure some of our instincts may be wrong.
Okay. I will start this by saying that this is the first time:
1) I’m writing a blog/journal on a notebook ( Yup, with a pen and paper. But for now as you’re reading this, I had already typed them in, so it’s no longer written on paper) since my laptop gave up on the 2nd week of March. I haven’t gotten the time to have it fixed after having it reformatted for the first time. You’ll know why as we move along.
So going back to writing on a paper, the last time I did this was when I still own a diary which I only fill up whenever I have a heartbreak or some sort of a secret that only me and those colorful pages knew. I haven’t filled it much, though.
2) Out of all the medical procedures done on/in me, (believe it, it’s a lot), it was only last March 29 when this nurse conducted my 2D Echo Test, and actually prayed for me before she started. I felt goose bumps all over my body, and I know she felt and saw it ‘coz I was just wearing a very thin lab gown where the front part was open. Now, before you think of anything malicious about that, or imagine what the nurse could’ve seen, I tell you that I was fine with it, because the front needs to be open and my chest needs to be exposed because that’s where she’ll run the test. Alright? So stop those imaginations running. 
As I was saying, she prayed, so I felt blessed and actually thought she was one of the angels, God sent me. Because when I got back to that same clinic today for another test, I asked for her and she was gone. Too bad I wasn’t able to catch her name then. I could’ve included her in my prayers too. Okay, maybe it was not her shift today that’s why I didn’t see her. But I still feel she was God-sent. I just hope all nurses/doctors do that (pray with their patient before beginning any medical procedures – except of course in emergency cases. Well, praying in the mind will do too. I know most people do this). It feels good and it lessens the nervousness in a patient.
3) Now that I mentioned about medical procedures done on/in me, I would like to let you know that it was the first time I got sick like this in a span of one month. I was sent home by our clinic doctor for days (despite my persistence to go back and work). Fever, cough and colds just kept coming back, added by severe chest pains that I only felt occasional since college. It was last March that those chest pains reoccurred for more than once in a day. I felt so terrified; I might die having short breaths. So I finally decided to let doctors check on it. I really didn’t mind those pains before ‘coz it was just seconds, then it goes off. This time, when that pain attacks, it takes 3 to 5 minutes to subside. It was alarming.
I thought my fear will subside after hearing my cardiologist say I have nothing to worry about ‘coz these instances don’t happen on my age bracket, but it made me think worse. What if I’ll be the very first case she’ll handle with this kind of situation? Now that she moved the test result from Wednesday to Friday of next week, does that mean, it takes that much longer time to study what that 2D Echo machine presented? More than a week’s time? It gets me more nervous. Of course I wanted to know what’s wrong with me. If it won’t be ASAP, at least get my hopes up that I’m fine. But until now, I’m not (I even had another attack earlier this day as I type this – dated April 3 2011). I won’t be fine ‘til I hear from her. And I’m always terrified because every time I go to sleep, I’m always awakened by the pain in the middle of the night.
Even if I don’t think about it, even if I get myself relaxed by emptying my mind, even if I get myself to sleep with the required hours we should get, even if I eat the right meals at the right time, nothing helps me ‘til I figure it out. Those doctors I consulted only said one thing: “You don’t have to worry. This doesn’t normally happen to people your age.” Yeah, I wish not to worry. But I don’t want to find out that it’s too late, and that I would be considered in a True Story Movie just like, “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button” – only with my name on it.
Yeah, my imagination is running wild now. You may say I’m over thinking. But you can’t blame me. After taking in all sorts of medicines in my body, it helped me imagine that much. Or maybe, I just tend to create “happy thoughts” in a difficult or hurting situation like this (being not able to work for more than a week now). I know everything happens for a reason. So while I’m waiting for that reason, I just tend to let my mind wander.
4) It was the first time that some of my left body parts felt tortured. Twice of getting blood and injected on the same spot on my left arm, left breast hurt so bad while that nurse who prayed for me ran the little machine on it. For those of you who don’t know how the 2D Echo Test is done, its jut like getting an ultrasound for pregnant women. So that thing they use where they put gel on , and run on those mothers’ tummies was like the same thing used on me. Only that she ran it on my left breast to inspect my heart and the muscles on it.
5) On a lighter side, though, I finally finished my third dose of medicine for HPV (Human papillomavirus). And it was always injected in my left arm – again. I’m happy after having it, ‘coz I really felt safe this time, after knowing all different diseases a woman can get, I feel protected. But of course, nothing is safer than having ‘safe sex’, or just abstain on it, if you’re still not ready to have a baby.
6) I enrolled for the first time in an Acting Workshop for Film, under Lunar Saints Production. I never expected, that little enrollment fee would go a long way, had given more opportunities and have given much priority to each and every one of us – their students, as much as it may have cost a mainstream production group to conduct their own. I never expected that a 3,000 pesos is worth that much time and effort each member of the group has to share whenever the class starts. For me, with all honesty, I would have started with around P5,000.00 or up, considering the intensity of teaching and hands-on activities that they provide. Indeed, no cents were ever wasted. I’m glad to know that there are still people who cared this much to those, who all wanted was to either gain more experience, just enhance what they have initially learned back stage, or just merely add-on their first time experiences list.
7) It was a first, feeling hopeless without someone beside you get through a tough situation. I’m not saying I wish I have a man to take care of me, but, yeah, maybe I’m wishing for it. I won’t pretend that I don’t need anyone, and that I am that independent. But admit it or not, at one time or another, an independent woman will wish for a companion. An independent woman can never be too strong, ‘til she finds out that there’s someone out there waiting for her to come home and wishes her well (I think this goes with Men too). Of course there are called Friends who stay for you. But nothing compares to having a man stand by you through thick and thin. For me, I find it so fulfilling when I get to share my hopes, dreams, goals – even my darkest secrets and happiest moments with the opposite sex. Hearing them do the same for me, is even more heart-warming.
But as I said, it was just a first time feeling of hopelessness. Maybe it occurred after seeing all married couples, mother-son, father-daughter, young couples; inside that medical clinic, up to my way outside, up to the jeepney where I rode back home. But that’s alright. I’m still up for God’s perfect time of course. For now, I’ll just keep on singing this song in my mind after hearing it over and over again on the radio this day:
“…How does he laugh, how does he cry? What’s the color of his eye?
Does he even realize I’m here?
Where is he, where is he, where is this beautiful guy?
Who is he, who is he, who’s gonna take me so high?
Where is he, where is he, where is this beautiful guy?
Who is he, who is he, who’s gonna take me so high?
Nanana-nananana
Nanana-nanaaa…
Nanana-nananana …”
Well, alright. I’ll end the list with that song. Just so you know, I’m not writing this stuff to get pity from anyone. I don’t need it. It just so happen that, that’s what blogging / writing a journal is all about – expressing yourself. It’s like I’ve allowed people to get into my life-book. And I feel honored to know that people take time to read my musings. This has always been a part of me – sharing my thoughts to people, and life experiences. ‘Coz I know, in one planet or another, there is someone out there, who could’ve been experiencing / have experienced the same things I did.
When a Director asked me during one of our ‘Revelations session’, “What makes me happy?” I said, “Whenever I’m in front of an audience performing, I feel happy. When I am with people who appreciates my craft and have the same passion I have with Arts, I am happy. When I am surrounded by people who will do everything to achieve what they really want in life, it makes me happy. And whenever I get to share my experiences to people, see the outcome on them, or just hear from them that they learned from me, it makes me happy.” Somehow, I wanted people to remember me that way.
And writing this by the way is another of those happiest moments in my life. I’m glad to have shared this with you.
Be safe now everyone. ‘Til my next post.
Ciao!
OF FIRST TIMES AND BEYOND
(In memory of my 27th birthday)
Photo taken by Justine Balanag
February 13 2011
After so many failed planned vacation leaves, it was only this year that I was able to maximize the days I intended for my celebration. It all started last Sunday before Valentine’s Day when I got my free cake and boxes of assorted polvoron (my favorite) from Goldilocks and was able to gather my family and some relatives in Marikina. It was just a simple, yet meaningful celebration, because there’s nothing compared to the sound of children’s laughter whenever they see a candle blown on a birthday cake. As I described my birthday album on my facebook account, I found it funny because it took 3rounds before I was able to blow my own birthday candle. The first was done by my brother’s son – Nash Gabrielle, followed by my half sister – Althea Faye. And since that was the very first candle I have to blow after so many years of not having one, I forgot to make a wish. I don’t even remember when I should make a wish – before or after I blow the candle? Haha.
February 22-25 2011
Four days, three nights stay in Coron, Palawan
When I found out that there’s a promo fare to Coron and was scheduled for February, I immediately agreed to come along. I told myself to give it a shot and see what fate presents to me on that day. I realized that it was my very first out of town trip (by plane) with some of my high school friends – Justine and Denisse, together with Alfie (Denisse’s boyfriend) and two of our new found friends, Tia and Candy. I’ll tell more specific adventures we had on my later post. So just stand by.
Anyway, another first for me was eating on the boat while traveling from one island to another. Oh, when I say we “ate”, it’s not the normal chips and crackers thing you have whenever you’re in the middle of the ocean. They were actual meals cooked by the boatmen, fresh from the sea (huge Crabs, Fish, Pusit – just to name a few). They cook really well and the food is so yummy!
Another first was when my sunglasses broke on our 2nd day, when we were on our way to Calauit Island: Safari. Just imagine how many hours we were walking on that huge acres of land to see each animal (following the tour guide like we were on an elementary fieldtrip or something), under the freaking heat of the sun without sunglasses on. To be honest, though, I kept on asking myself that time (in the back of my mind), “Can I just sit and watch the National Geographic Channel instead of walking with you guys?” Had they reserved an alternative truck for tourists, if what they originally have gets malfunctioned, we would have all been fine gazing through the field not minding the heat. Tsk, tsk, booooo! I love the giraffes, horses and zebras, though.
Anyway, lesson learned: I won’t buy a ninety-nine pesos worth of sunglasses any longer so it won’t break after a day of use. Crap!
It was my first time to wear a real 2-piece bikini (despite my big figure). And it was not a two-piece outfit like shorts and a top, which I always wear before, when I have a nice figure to flaunt. How ironic.
It was a first when I get to eat on my own pace without having someone rush me to finish my food; and live somewhat like a real survivor in an isolated island when we stayed overnight in Castaway – wherein your only companion is the sound of the waves, and the cool breeze on your face. Electricity’s off during the day, and only a generator helps you get through the night. The only difference is, they served our food. We didn’t need to hunt to get something to eat. It’s like living in a paradise – without a special someone beside you *sigh* hehe.
Visiting 8 islands in one day (on exactly my birth day, the 24th) was another first. Snorkeling, swimming, trekking – name it, we did it. You can just imagine how exhausted we were at the end of the day. But we didn’t mind. We still managed to get a tricycle to drive us to Maquinit Hot Springs and give our tired bodies, a much needed break.
Our 4th morning was just a preparation to our flight back to Manila, so there’s nothing much that happened. Denisse just pointed a cute tree, though, while we’re inside the van going to the airport. It was alone in the middle of the field and it was a very pretty tree like what I see on children’s books when I was a kid, or a movie-like scene in need of a great nature’s background. It was amazing. Do you remember this phrase: “Living in a greener pasture?” The feeling was like that, only in the literal sense, because you are surrounded by green trees
Finally, it was a first having to trek 6 times, on different locations, when all we wanted was just to swim and snorkel. Mind you, we even trekked inside NAIA when all their escalators didn’t work when we arrived. Crazy, but super fun! 
Thank you, Lord, for keeping us all safe on this blessed trip; thank you for introducing us to thoughtful and hospitable people of Coron; thank you for creating such wonderful and amazing islands; and thank you for allowing these people (Justine, Denisse, Alfie, Tia and Candy) to share their time and part of their lives with me as I celebrate another year of blissful existence. Thank you too, for all of you who extended warm greetings and wishes.
I can’t wait to see what’s in store for me, next year
For now, I’ll continue living each day and each passing hour in God’s grace.
Confession of a Dreamer
For the past years, all I wanted was just to be able to perform in front of an audience. I don’t know what got into me, because I had a sudden change of mind. This time, I wanted not just to be able to perform, but learn more about my passion and be able to teach or share them to people.
This realization came when I got tired of searching for possible career advancements in my chosen field and saw numerous people who have potential to improve on their God-given talents. I’m not trying to be a talent manager or something. This time, I want to go back studying. I wanted to take my Masters in Performing Arts/Theater — in a different country.
I don’t know why I wanted to leave, all I know is that I want to know how it feels like studying in a different setting and how to live life outside of my birthland.
I know that for some, they’ll say it’s too late. Ask, “why just now? why start now?”. I already hear people tell me that it’s not worth the shot, because living in another country, considering their cost of living and such, is much worse than staying here. I wouldn’t give them a second to think of more questions ‘coz I will just say, “Why Not?” For me, nothing is too late – until I give up. And giving up, will never be in my vocabulary.
I admit, though, that I don’t know where to start. This will be my very first time to do something on my own that I have never done in the past. I mean, I travel. Yes. But not internationally. This will be my first time to go out of my comfort zone. Of course I know I needed to fix my papers, get a passport and apply for a Visa and such, but I know I needed more help.
Living in another country, alone, and no one to talk to or be with, is one hell of a fun ride for me. Fun in the sense that I get to challenge myself to deal with different types of people, befriend any good or bad person that come my way. Fun in the sense that I will no longer have the same routine of just relying on one or two person’s idea on something. Fun in the sense that I will not be committed to just a single person’s routine itself.
But it’s difficult, most especially if I have no idea of where to go.
I’ve been doing my research for like 3 months now. Searching for schools who can grant financial assistance for an International Student like me. Submitted resumes to possible goups/organizations who might hopefully read it and consider my portfolio. And since then, I haven’t gotten any response.
It’s indeed true, as I read through some international student’s blogsites that the only pain you’ll get out of this, is waiting.
I won’t deny that I said I needed more help. I won’t pretend that I know everything and that I can just do everything on my own. That’s the reason why I’ve been asking my friends and all the people I know who’s already living out of the country, for any information they could give me on where to go and what to do. That’s the reason why I bury myself online, hoping to get a response from any of them. That’s the reason why I’m not giving up. Because I know, someday, somewhere, there will be someone who can lead me to the right path without worrying of anything else, but me and my chosen life.
As we grow older and wiser, we realize that there are some things that just wouldn’t satisfy our needs. We realize that there are people who were able to reach their goals and achieve their dreams without even going through all the hoops of trials. We realize that there are people who were just blessed with opportunities that they never see it coming.
Unfair as life can be, here I am, finally realizing what I wanted to do in life to serve my purpose — yet I don’t know where to begin.
Crazy, but true.
OLD POEM COLLECTION 1
A Perfect Ending
At the close of our day,
I linger in your eyes,
Lost in the moment,
Cherishing your touch.
Kissing, your tongue with mine,
Teasing me, exciting me, making me ache,
Wanting you to take me right then.
I lay back, pleading without words,
Breathless with anticipation,
As you stand over me, taunting,
Making me wait, admiring what you’ve done.
Anxious, I raise my hips to greet your stare,
Beckoning you to enter me,
As if the lips hidden there
Could speak for me, to some other part of you.
Finally, you grant me relief,
Embedding my being,
My feet upon your chest to brace us both,
As you thrust deep inside, again and again.
You reach places within me,
I thought were untouchable,
The pain hurting so good,
That I can’t help but cry out.
You wonder, if possibly you are hurting me,
Easing momentarily, but then I say, “don’t stop”,
And you know my whimpers are from ecstasy,
As I call you back into our entrancing dance.
My eyes are open to catch you,
As you’re stealing satisfaction with your own,
Taking pride in knowing it is you,
That has caused these looks to come across my face,
Demonstrating to you, your power over me.
And then you say, “Oh Lady”,
As you gaze at me dreamily,
Shaking your head, as in disbelief,
Shyly grinning, revealing to me my own power
To make you feel alive.
I know you are close to leaving me,
Traveling to that place I can not follow,
And I ask you not to go,
Trying with all my might to make you stay,
Requesting, “easy, wait”, as I push you to your back,
Climbing atop you.
Then ever so carefully, I navigate you once again,
To the edge of your own heaven,
As I find that perfect rhythm of my own,
Barely breathing.
And as I start to throb, I become the one
Who can not be stopped from taking flight,
As I ride you wildly, beyond the realms of night,
Into my own promised land.
And returning to earth,
I find to my delight,
You, also coming back to ground,
From a visit to a paradise,
That we both, together, found.
Rundown of My O’Ten
As I count the hours near the end of 2010, I’ve decided to run through my blessings and activities this past year. Since all I can do right now (alone and sick on New Year’s Eve) is to stay home and get well, I thought of writing down the memorable things that happened to me including the significant people who inspired me in O’ten, and here they are:
JANUARY
I pretty much enjoy the company of different friends. This month, I got a chance to meet with friends whom I’ve known online for years; was able to go to Ecopark for the first time with my Buritos Family to celebrate two of our loving college friends’ 26th birthday; had my godson visit me in my apartment; and was able to attend my earlier Pod Gathering in Torio’s Grill – where I was chosen as the Best CSAT Awardee for 2009.
FEBRUARY
This love month didn’t go well as I thought it would have, since this is also my birthday month. My presence wasn’t there when I was supposed to be a Godmother to one of our college friend’s daughter; my boyfriend back then didn’t spend the Valentine’s Day with me for some lame reason; I was broke on my birthday week when I filed for a VL (vacation leave); and I broke someone’s heart without me knowing he has feelings for me. If I remember it right, the only good thing that happened to me was when instead of having a date on Valentine’s Day, I ended up celebrating the day with my favorite godson, his mom and his mom’s mom. They’re a family to me, so I was glad to go back to Ecopark with them, just relaxed and watch the kid enjoy himself.
MARCH
Another of those so-so months. This was when I found out that my ex was lying to me all along (he even lied about his birth date ‘til I saw the prompt on facebook and that he’s about to leave the country sooner than I expected). He didn’t even have the guts to say goodbye, so I broke up with him. He tried to talk me out of it and visit me in my place, but it’s too late. I don’t have feelings for him anymore. Liars don’t stay long in my memory. So there. I can’t remember anything really good that happened to me this month.
APRIL
If not for a special friend’s wedding, I wouldn’t be able to travel and see the beautiful place of Marinduque, her sweet husband and the beautiful friends of the bride. This was by far, I can say the best vacation I had this 2010. We stayed there for 5days. After which, was a Part 2 getaway to Anawangin, Zambales. Awww…beaches, beaches, beaches. J I love this month!
MAY
This was the month I guess when I started searching for acting workshops or open auditions so I can go back and hone my craft and pursue what I’ve always wanted to do – Act. This was when I attended a workshop guide to beginners in film making, and finally met one of the significant persons who inspired me to pursue my dream – Mr. JP Carpio. I also promised to make myself “busy” from this month on, to let go of the bad vibes. J
JUNE
This month was one of the unforgettable. Aside from relatives and friends who celebrated their birthdays and so with Father’s Day, this was the beginning of my journey towards reaching my goal. I began attending UFO Pintigan Acting Workshop, I was able to audition for CCP’s Tanghalang Pilipino Actor’s Company and auditioned for UP Diliman’s Information for Foreigners.
JULY
I was still busy attending the workshop (under Soliman Cruz and Michael Ian Lomongo) then office work right after. I graduated from the acting workshop at the end of the month, performed in our recital and still on the same day, met another significant person (a great artist – director/actor/singer/dancer/choreographer/writer/composer, all rolled into one – Mr. Njel de Mesa), I even sang with him! J
This was also the month when I found out I passed the audition in UP and will be part of yet again another amazing production under an internationally renowned director Anton Juan. Another unforgettable and happiest month I had this year. J
AUGUST
We had pictorials this month for the show Information for Foreigners; I learned more routes in and out of UP campus than I knew back in college; I learned that no matter how tired and long the hours are for rehearsals, as long as you love what you’re doing, you’ll just be happy and fine.
SEPTEMBER
Oh, dear September. I love you because: of the 7-days show of Information for Foreigners, with very good feedback from the press, guests and audience; because you introduced me to a bunch of talented, amazing and loving people in my IFF family; because we were complete (brothers, sisters and nephews) in celebrating Dad’s birthday; because we (college friends) got together again for Tei’s birthday at Liza’s house; and I still managed to perform and make good scores at work. J
OCTOBER
I was referred for another audition. Though I didn’t make it on the scheduled date, I was glad to be given a second chance for another day. I thought of it as another opportunity given by God, because he knows what my heart longs for. Though I didn’t get the part, I’m still happy for another experience. I even met a pretty girl on that same day, who told me it was her very first time to audition in her entire life and doesn’t have any idea how she’ll make it through. Since it has always been a pleasure for me to share what I learned, I gave her some tips and a few push for her not to back-out and just move on. In the end, I know she made it because the sponsor/judge liked her very much. J So happy for her!
This was also one of my favorite months because opportunities just kept on coming. After the above audition, I received an email in the office that there will be an opening for the Miss Saigon musical play as a Yearend performance and it will be a competition. At first, I told myself that this time, I want to know what it feels like to help backstage and just accompany my team mate who so wanted to be part of the production. Besides, I’m not a good singer or dancer. But friends and some officemates convinced me to join and try out. So there, I made it to the cut and was excited to know the rest of the cast. J
Before the end of this awesome month, I was interviewed for research and became friends with Tia and Didi (both from Indonesia); I met with a high school friend and her Dad, and then wrapped up the month by meeting my co-acting workshoppers from UFO Pintigan Acting Workshop to celebrate a beloved Australian friend (Emma)’s despedida in Centerstage. We had a lot of fun and sang our hearts out in the videoke that night! J I miss these girls.
NOVEMBER
I met up with two new online friends this month; attended another college friend’s bridal shower and enjoyed their company as we dress up for a Masquerade theme and did some pictorials; went out with Mommy, Tito & Katkat and bought or invested on some appliances for myself. Guess my 13th month salary didn’t go to waste this year. Talk about wise spending. Oh, and this was when I had my taste of first time, when I auditioned for an Indie-film J
DECEMBER
I love you December, because: I met a bunch of crazy people in my Saigon Family and learned to love and be inspired by them. You gave me an opportunity to share and teach what I learned on previous workshops I’ve attended. I was able to perform on stage again after so many years. You made me perform in front of my superiors and officemates. You made me enjoy the company’s Yearend Party so bad, that despite some of my stuff were stolen backstage by God-knows-who, I still felt accomplished and fulfilled. And you made our family and relatives closer than ever.
oOo
Despite of my health condition this past year, I was still blessed with great people and great experiences that I’ll surely treasure for the rest of my life. THANK YOU 2010, and THANK YOU for everyone who became a part of my life and made me part of yours. You made my year worthwhile
Have a great 2011! Carpé Diem! ^_^
A Foreign Stranger
Hi guys! It’s been quite a while since I wrote something about dates/guys/relationships. And I got excited to post this after reading the article 10 Quickest Ways To Turn A Guy Off.
Not that what you’re going to read below has anything to do with the article, it’s just that after reading it, it made me remember the recent activity I had over the last week.
Well, let’s just say I finally went back to dating or shall I say, meet-ups after a couple of months with a new guy. And it’s something that I consider “first-of-a-kind”. Why? Because I’ve never met with a foreigner… until that day came. To be honest, I never thought I’d be interested in one. But then, we can’t stop fate. It’ll sooner or later introduce you to something or someone new. Events that may trigger happiness or such excitement in your life; or people who may ‘somewhat’ bring fulfillment to your wishes and daydreams.
The plan was simple. Breakfast and some chitchats. It was fun. It was different from the other dates of course, because I just have to follow EOP (English Only Policy – like if I am speaking with a customer on the phone) for those hours we were together. But the only difference was, I talk, and he’s there in front me, and you can see his facial expressions, reactions and you can hear him laugh to the things I say and of the movements I make. It was only then that I realized, he made me feel comfortable around him and of myself. Some people may think I could’ve had my nose bleeding because of that EOP thing, but much to my surprise, I felt good, I was happy – and – hyper (like I haven’t had enough sleep the night before, but my energy is just so high I can’t help it). Also, I love the fact that we strolled around a beautiful area and we both love nature and simple things that life has to offer; rather than stay in a four-cornered-dim-lighted room for three hours.
It was also different, and it saddened me because we just have to cut it short. He haven’t had enough sleep like I did, since he just got to Manila that evening before we met the next day. I just saw it in his eyes – tired and needs some more rest. Still being a perfect gentleman, he walked me through my way out – as I’m not familiar with the place, then he finally offered a hug before we parted ways. It was indeed a sweet, simple and brief meet up with once a “foreign stranger”, and who I can now call, a sweet friend.
Looking forward to see you again – wishing a plane drops you off here one more time
Jamie.
11410
Blessed and Happy Sunday
When I knew I’d have to take a Saturday shift, I immediately thought of what to do right after so I could maximize the remaining hours of the day. Obviously, I won’t be having the full weekend, so I might as well think of better things to do aside from eat, sleep and log online. So I told myself that right after my shift, why don’t I go and visit the person I always talk to, everyday, and everywhere I am; and finally listen to what He wants to tell me all this time?
So, since last night was my first Saturday, today was my first fully blessed Sunday, and I’m happy. Why? Read on:
1. I went to Church and heard the early Mass. It’s been months since I did.
2. I got inspired with old and young couples hearing Mass together while holding hands
3. I was glad to know that people still make effort to dress properly inside the Church
4. I learned more from today’s Gospel – Giving and saying THANK YOU to all God’s blessings (“Pasasalamat”). We tend to just ask and demand from Him. We hardly say thank you and praise, once we get what we want
and
5. I learned that the reason why we are not happy with our lives is because we keep searching on things/people, that/whom we don’t have or will never have, instead of just be contented with those of which and who are already there.
At the end of the day, I realized that there’s no such thing as “too late”, when it comes to talking and listening to Him. What’s important is for us not to forget that there’s only One person we can trust. And yup, that’s the Man who gave his life for us and died on the cross.
Enjoy your Family Day, guys! =)
**Oh, didn’t I say I’m happy? I am. Nadagdagan pa when I found out that one of my dear friends, just got promoted! Woohoo! Congrats, Denisse!!! Muwah, muwah! God is good!!!**
And look, what day is it today?
10.10.10
^_^
Of Kidney Transplants and In Search of Kidney Donors
MAYA ANGELOU’S BEST POEM EVER
| A good friend of mine shared this beautiful poem to me in the office. I just want to share it with you – fellow Women and to all you guys’ women ^_^
MAYA ANGELOU’S BEST POEM EVER
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ….. A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE .. A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE … A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ….. A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE …. A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE …. A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE … A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE .. EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW… EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW… EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW… EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW… EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW… EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW… EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW.. . EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW… EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW… |
To You…
…Who I considered my ‘first love’, who stayed with me for a year and four months, and made me the kind of person I am right now;
…Who I met and dated years back and made me feel so appreciated and liked;
…Who came back after all these years, making me realize how important I am to you;
…Who showed and taught me how to love again, even for a month;
…Who I thought was just a stranger, and eventually became a good friend;
…Who I never knew will be my mentor, who believed in me and to what I can offer, who inspires me and makes me move forward; as long as I know you’re there to guide me, I know I will never go wrong and that I will achieve whatever it is I dream of;
…Who thought I was just another girl whom you can play with; you made me realize that I can no longer stand the type of person you have become and that I have matured to search for another;
…Who still loves me despite of the circumstances we’ve been through, and made me aware of how you feel;
…Who don’t appreciate a single thing I do; you made me realize that I have so much patience stored in me
…Who I loved all this time, despite of the pain I feel whenever I don’t hear from you; you made me realize that I can just love, even without expecting anything in return
…Who loves me (whoever and wherever you are); you let me stay alive and happy longing for that day I will get to know you and spend the rest of my life with you.
To all the guys I met and been with all these years, and also to everyone of you — before this day and year ends, I just really want to say THANK YOU for coming in my life, for adding colors to my world and for joining me in this God-filled journey.
I know people come and go and leave footprints in our hearts. I’m just hoping that you will never forget, that once in your life, I walked through and touched your heart in the best way I know how.
May this new year give all of you more blessings and much love to give and receive!
Happy New Year everyone! ^_^
Inspiring Emails
These attached presentations were emailed to me in the office. I just want to share them and inspire you too
My Escape
6PM
Makati
We met again. That guy who always makes my heart skip a beat everytime he shows up. That guy whom I thought was the person I long been waiting for. That guy who let me fall in love again after years of being alone. That guy who brings out the best in me whenever I know he’s there to be proud of what I’ve achieved.
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A TEXT MESSAGE
I just received a message from him. He was confined in the hospital for 5 days. I was glad to hear from him that he’s doing fine now and I was glad that he made me aware of his situation – even if its too late.
I wanted to take care of him while he’s recovering from sickness; I wanted to be there and see him get well. I wanted him to realize that despite our contradicting schedules, I can make a way to be there for him — because I want to. But I guess, he doesn’t.
I don’t know if he’s hiding something from me. I don’t even know if he sees or feel me…
Or yeah, maybe most of you already know it. He’s just not into me.
Coz he WAS that guy. That guy…who maybe, never really fell for me…at all.
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SIGNING OFF
This was one of those days where I just go out and check my sites and emails in an internet cafe for about 3 to 5 hours til I feel tired and sleepy. And yeah, part of it was to see if who among my friends are online too and have a simple chat and get connected.
I saw his name pop up (Clark Kent is now online). When I checked his status – Busy. So I just gave him a short message and like asked how he was recovering from his sickness. Knowing that he wont respond right away and thinking he might not respond at all, I closed the message window after a few minutes.
But he did. After about like an hour or two, he said he was okay, though he still coughs and that he’s working while at home. I was delighted when I saw that message window active again. Its been so long that I was able to catch him online. He asked what am I doing, why am I online and if I was off for the day. I said I just waited for him to respond before I logout to know if he’s okay or if he’s already back in the office; and that my shift starts tonight from my Sunday off.
I started asking questions again – thinking it will be a good time to know him more and his plans for Christmas. I asked where will he and his family be on Christmas day. He answered he do not know yet. I asked if his siblings will go home from the states, he said he don’t know. Then he asked why do I want to know.
I learned that if someone asks you “Why do you want to know?” it means that they don’t want to answer your question and you better not insist. So when I saw that, I know I asked a wrong question. Yet I answered back, and the reason was that I just want to know more about him (his life, about his family etc).
Hence, what I thought was a good start, ended up by him – Signing off.
oOo
I felt crushed. Even if this was not the first time he did that, I felt like I was so dumbfounded this time; it was like, that’s his only way to let me know he doesn’t want me to be a part of his life at all. And it was like I was too numb to even realize and feel it through his actions.
I know I might be overanalyzing these things, but I was really hurt. As I said, it was not the first time he signs off whenever we’re in the middle of an online ‘conversation’; and this does not include yet the times that he will just suddenly stop replying after long exchange of text messages.
oOo
But you know what? This could be my first time… to let him go.
Like what Tom’s friend said in the movie 500 Days of Summer, “the only way to let a girl go (in this case, to let a guy go) is to turn him into literature”. Now that I’ve written much about him since last year, I can say that before this year ends, I am ready…
to finally move on and wait for the guy who will be worthy of this attention that I am giving him; and to whom I may finally be worthy of.
This is my escape.
I am still the captain of my ship and I am still the master of my soul.
-The End-
Posted via web from Unfold Me
What I’ve Learned
It’s Thanksgiving day tomorrow. Not much of calls are coming in. I just want to share another nice email forwarded to me in the office
That you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is be someone who can be loved. The rest is up to them.
I’ve learned
that no matter how much I care, some people just don’t care back.
I’ve learned
that it takes years to build up trust, and only seconds to destroy it.
I’ve learned
that it’s not what you have in your life but who you have in your life
that counts.
I’ve learned
that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes. After that, you’d better know something.
I’ve learned
that it’s not what happens to people that’s important. It’s what they do about it.
I’ve learned
that you can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for life.
I’ve learned
that you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them.
I’ve learned
that either you control your attitude or it controls you.
I’ve learned
that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades and there had better be something else to take its place.
I’ve learned
that learning to forgive takes practice.
I’ve learned
that money is a lousy way of keeping score.
I’ve learned
that sometimes when I’m angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn’t give me the right to be cruel.
I’ve learned
that true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. Same goes for true love.
I’ve learned
that maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you’ve had and what you’ve learned from them and less to do with how many years you’ve lived.
I’ve learned
that you should never tell a child their dreams are unlikely or outlandish. Few things are more humiliating, and what a tragedy it would be if they believed you.
I’ve learned
that no matter how good a friend is, they’re going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.
I’ve learned
that it isn’t always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself.
I’ve learned
that no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn’t stop for your grief.
I’ve learned
that just because two people argue, it doesn’t mean they don’t love each other and just because they don’t argue, it doesn’t mean they do.
I’ve learned
that sometimes you have to put the individual ahead of their actions.
I’ve learned
that you shouldn’t be so eager to find out a secret. It could change your life forever.
I’ve learned
that no matter how you try to protect your children, they will eventually get hurt and you will hurt in the process.
I’ve learned
that there are many ways of falling and staying in love.
I’ve learned
that your life can be changed in a matter of hours by people who don’t even know you.
I’ve learned
that even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you, you will find the strength to help.
I’ve learned
that writing, as well as talking, can ease emotional pains.
I’ve learned
I’ve learned
that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon.
Posted via web from Unfold Me
Sharing the ABC’s
I received this email from a team mate during the time I was thinking so deep and alone on my station. This indeed made my day – when I realized all I had to do was just to bring back my faith and to ask for more guidance from Him. Read on and I hope you get to share this to everyone you know, just like I did. Bless you!
THIS IS ONE OF THE NICEST AND MOST BEAUTIFUL USES OF THE ALPHABET THAT I HAVE EVER SEEN. I HOPE YOU ENJOY IT AS MUCH AS I DID. HAVE A GOOD DAY! Whoever came up with this one must have had some divine guidance
lthough things are not perfect
ecause of trial or pain
ontinue in thanksgiving
o not begin to blame
ven when the times are hard
ierce winds are bound to blow
od is forever able
old on to what you know
magine life without His love
oy would cease to be
eep thanking Him for all the things
ove imparts to thee
ove out of “Camp Complaining”
o weapon that is known
n earth can yield the power
raise can do alone
uit looking at the future
edeem the time at hand
tart every day with worship
o “thank” is a command
ntil we see Him coming
ictorious in the sky
e’ll run the race with gratitude
alting God most high
es, therell be good times & yes some will be bad, but…
ion waits in glory…where none are ever sad!
Posted via web from Unfold Me
Congrats FEU!!!!
For winning the UAAP Cheerdance competition! Woootwoot!!!! Bring it on!!! hehehePROUD
TO
BE
A
TAMARAW!
yeah!!!
How to read a Man’s Body Language
Okay, let’s continue from yesterday’s post shall we? Ü
Apart from knowing how to rock your first date, it’s also good to know how you can see through the guy you’re dating and check whether what he says coincide with his actions. And the easiest way to do that is read his body language. Ü
Scent and Seduction
http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/dating-advice/scent-and-seduction
How to ask a guy out
Following my previous post, let’s go ahead and check how Cosmo advised ladies on how to ask a guy out. As for me, yeah, I think I’ve done this at one time or another. And I can say, sometimes, it does pay to be a Cosmochick than be alone, be shy and “wait in vain” for that-gorgeous-guy-you’ve-been-eyeing-for-months-who-will-not-just-make-a-move to come and get you. Ü
How to totally rock a first date
Alright, I was just scanning through my 19,000++ yahoo emails without any intention of really opening them one by one. And because I really am not in the mood to check them out, I opted to move forward in reading through Cosmopolitan’s website. And here is where I got the following nice topics to share with you.
How to rock a first date?
I really don’t know. Hehe, not until I realized that I’ve been given just enough guys to date with (so far), and learned on each date how to behave (or not to behave when called for) properly hehe. 
But the following article from Cosmo will really help ladies out on how to act on their first dates. Check them out!
A visit to my Hometown
August 9, 2009
St. John Mary Vianney Parish
Antipolo City
I was supposed to visit last August 8, 2009 and watch our parish’s annual concert; but because I was in super deep slumber that Saturday evening, I didn’t hear my alarm clock wake me up. Ü
So to make up for it, I went to the place where I grew up and stayed for 20years the next day after. Even if I just spent a couple of hours with these people, I sure felt the same love they had before me and my family left.
Pictures taken from Tita Vangie’s camera phone. Thanks for the dinner, accomodation and the drive too Tito Boyet. Really appreciate it. I miss you guys. Ü
At the Choir Loft
From left: Ate Sarah, daughter Janna, Camille, Jha and Ate Chie
Second shot with Tita Vangie
Outside the Parish with sisters Shaira(second to the left) and Sevie Anne (back)
Me and my boyfriend – Tito Boyet (haha, nah…he’s taken by Tita Vanj)Ü
10 Annoying Text Habits to Avoid
I was about to check my Yahoo emails when this article caught my attention. I can’t keep myself from smiling or laughing everytime I remember one or two instances when I was either a victim of these type of texters or I was the one doing it. Hehehe. Read up. I know you’ll be smiling too. Ü
When God says “wait”
I just got an email from Rajsh again. Good thing she shared this to me. I could have forgotten about God’s Time had I not gone through this nice article. Thanks my dear. Ü
YOU.Speak