Ladies, I’m sorry if the title offended any of you, but I think many of you will agree with this chapter. In fact, maybe some of you have lived this chapter (or you are living it right now).

Previously, I wrote about a story that I’ve seen over and over again in the lives of women. There’s another tragedy that happens to women. The story goes something like this:

1. Woman and man begin courtship.
2. Woman observes “warning signs” that the man has a major character problem or characteristic which makes them incompatible.
3. Woman decides that she can “fix” his flaw or chooses to ignore it.
4. The man’s character flaw remains, and so does the woman’s illusion.
5. The woman ends up in a miserable relationship; possibly a miserable marriage.

This foolish way of thinking/behaving is summarized in these three words: He Can Change. Women often think they can change men. I’m sure some men are guilty of this too, but it seems that women in particular are vulnerable to his treacherous way of thinking. It may sound something like this:

“He’s unfaithful, but he can change. “
“He has vices/addictions, but he can change.”
“I’m not sure that he’s trustworthy, but he can change.”
“He’s not really passionate about his faith, but he can change.”
“He has a temper problem, but he can change.”
“He doesn’t treat his mother well, but he can change.”
“He doesn’t have any ambition in life, but he can change.”

Do i believe that people can change? Through the transforming power of Christ — yes! Through a dysfunctional relationship — no! Ladies, there is a Savior; there is a life-changer. It is Jesus, not you. Look for a healthy relationship, not a person in need of rescue or major changes.

Bo Sanchez made a tragic observation in How to Find Your One True Love. He noted that some women are more selective about the shoes they buy than they are about the men they get involved with. OK naman kung mapili ka — It’s OK to be choosy! You are a queen — go find yourself a king! Make yourself a list of qualities that your future spouse must have (example: good character, financially stable, etc). Make a list of negative qualities that he must not have (example: vices, unfaithful). Don’t accept suitors who don’t meet these standards! Why waste your time?

The following verse describes those who are not ready to change despite serious character problems. If you are not careful, it will describe your life as well.

I want to tell you a story that is thousands of years old, yet still happnes today. It is more common than any fairy tale, yet you will not see it in many pocketbooks(romance novels). This story is both ancient and modern – it varies only slightly from the beginning of time until now.

The story goes something like this:
1. Boy meets girl and begins dating/courtship.
2. boy professes undying love and pressures girl to have sex.
3. Girl gives in to boy’s pressure and has sex with him.
4. Boy loses interest and dumps girl.
5. Girl is left to deal with her broken heart as well as any physical consequences.

There are a few variations to this story. For example, sometimes the girl realizes too late that she was not even the only girlfriend — she was just one of his many “conquests”. Sometimes the couple was together for months (or years) and she thought that they would get married. Regardless, the outcome is usually the same — a young woman with a broken heart.

I meet hundreds of students each year, and I’ve heard this story many times. Please don’t let this happen to you. If you are being pressured to have sex, the relationship is already dead. It is over (tapos na talaga). The only question is the price you will pay before you realize it is over. Take my word on this or you too will pay a high price.