To You…
…Who I considered my ‘first love’, who stayed with me for a year and four months, and made me the kind of person I am right now;
…Who I met and dated years back and made me feel so appreciated and liked;
…Who came back after all these years, making me realize how important I am to you;
…Who showed and taught me how to love again, even for a month;
…Who I thought was just a stranger, and eventually became a good friend;
…Who I never knew will be my mentor, who believed in me and to what I can offer, who inspires me and makes me move forward; as long as I know you’re there to guide me, I know I will never go wrong and that I will achieve whatever it is I dream of;
…Who thought I was just another girl whom you can play with; you made me realize that I can no longer stand the type of person you have become and that I have matured to search for another;
…Who still loves me despite of the circumstances we’ve been through, and made me aware of how you feel;
…Who don’t appreciate a single thing I do; you made me realize that I have so much patience stored in me
…Who I loved all this time, despite of the pain I feel whenever I don’t hear from you; you made me realize that I can just love, even without expecting anything in return
…Who loves me (whoever and wherever you are); you let me stay alive and happy longing for that day I will get to know you and spend the rest of my life with you.
To all the guys I met and been with all these years, and also to everyone of you — before this day and year ends, I just really want to say THANK YOU for coming in my life, for adding colors to my world and for joining me in this God-filled journey.
I know people come and go and leave footprints in our hearts. I’m just hoping that you will never forget, that once in your life, I walked through and touched your heart in the best way I know how.
May this new year give all of you more blessings and much love to give and receive!
Happy New Year everyone! ^_^
Inspiring Emails
These attached presentations were emailed to me in the office. I just want to share them and inspire you too 
My Escape
6PM
Makati
We met again. That guy who always makes my heart skip a beat everytime he shows up. That guy whom I thought was the person I long been waiting for. That guy who let me fall in love again after years of being alone. That guy who brings out the best in me whenever I know he’s there to be proud of what I’ve achieved.
121409
A TEXT MESSAGE
I just received a message from him. He was confined in the hospital for 5 days. I was glad to hear from him that he’s doing fine now and I was glad that he made me aware of his situation – even if its too late.
I wanted to take care of him while he’s recovering from sickness; I wanted to be there and see him get well. I wanted him to realize that despite our contradicting schedules, I can make a way to be there for him — because I want to. But I guess, he doesn’t.
I don’t know if he’s hiding something from me. I don’t even know if he sees or feel me…
Or yeah, maybe most of you already know it. He’s just not into me.
Coz he WAS that guy. That guy…who maybe, never really fell for me…at all.
122109
SIGNING OFF
This was one of those days where I just go out and check my sites and emails in an internet cafe for about 3 to 5 hours til I feel tired and sleepy. And yeah, part of it was to see if who among my friends are online too and have a simple chat and get connected.
I saw his name pop up (Clark Kent is now online). When I checked his status – Busy. So I just gave him a short message and like asked how he was recovering from his sickness. Knowing that he wont respond right away and thinking he might not respond at all, I closed the message window after a few minutes.
But he did. After about like an hour or two, he said he was okay, though he still coughs and that he’s working while at home. I was delighted when I saw that message window active again. Its been so long that I was able to catch him online. He asked what am I doing, why am I online and if I was off for the day. I said I just waited for him to respond before I logout to know if he’s okay or if he’s already back in the office; and that my shift starts tonight from my Sunday off.
I started asking questions again – thinking it will be a good time to know him more and his plans for Christmas. I asked where will he and his family be on Christmas day. He answered he do not know yet. I asked if his siblings will go home from the states, he said he don’t know. Then he asked why do I want to know.
I learned that if someone asks you “Why do you want to know?” it means that they don’t want to answer your question and you better not insist. So when I saw that, I know I asked a wrong question. Yet I answered back, and the reason was that I just want to know more about him (his life, about his family etc).
Hence, what I thought was a good start, ended up by him – Signing off.
oOo
I felt crushed. Even if this was not the first time he did that, I felt like I was so dumbfounded this time; it was like, that’s his only way to let me know he doesn’t want me to be a part of his life at all. And it was like I was too numb to even realize and feel it through his actions.
I know I might be overanalyzing these things, but I was really hurt. As I said, it was not the first time he signs off whenever we’re in the middle of an online ‘conversation’; and this does not include yet the times that he will just suddenly stop replying after long exchange of text messages.
oOo
But you know what? This could be my first time… to let him go.
Like what Tom’s friend said in the movie 500 Days of Summer, “the only way to let a girl go (in this case, to let a guy go) is to turn him into literature”. Now that I’ve written much about him since last year, I can say that before this year ends, I am ready…
to finally move on and wait for the guy who will be worthy of this attention that I am giving him; and to whom I may finally be worthy of.
This is my escape.
I am still the captain of my ship and I am still the master of my soul.
-The End-
Posted via web from Unfold Me
What I’ve Learned
It’s Thanksgiving day tomorrow. Not much of calls are coming in. I just want to share another nice email forwarded to me in the office
That you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is be someone who can be loved. The rest is up to them.
I’ve learned
that no matter how much I care, some people just don’t care back.
I’ve learned
that it takes years to build up trust, and only seconds to destroy it.
I’ve learned
that it’s not what you have in your life but who you have in your life
that counts.
I’ve learned
that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes. After that, you’d better know something.
I’ve learned
that it’s not what happens to people that’s important. It’s what they do about it.
I’ve learned
that you can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for life.
I’ve learned
that you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them.
I’ve learned
that either you control your attitude or it controls you.
I’ve learned
that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades and there had better be something else to take its place.
I’ve learned
that learning to forgive takes practice.
I’ve learned
that money is a lousy way of keeping score.
I’ve learned
that sometimes when I’m angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn’t give me the right to be cruel.
I’ve learned
that true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. Same goes for true love.
I’ve learned
that maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you’ve had and what you’ve learned from them and less to do with how many years you’ve lived.
I’ve learned
that you should never tell a child their dreams are unlikely or outlandish. Few things are more humiliating, and what a tragedy it would be if they believed you.
I’ve learned
that no matter how good a friend is, they’re going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.
I’ve learned
that it isn’t always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself.
I’ve learned
that no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn’t stop for your grief.
I’ve learned
that just because two people argue, it doesn’t mean they don’t love each other and just because they don’t argue, it doesn’t mean they do.
I’ve learned
that sometimes you have to put the individual ahead of their actions.
I’ve learned
that you shouldn’t be so eager to find out a secret. It could change your life forever.
I’ve learned
that no matter how you try to protect your children, they will eventually get hurt and you will hurt in the process.
I’ve learned
that there are many ways of falling and staying in love.
I’ve learned
that your life can be changed in a matter of hours by people who don’t even know you.
I’ve learned
that even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you, you will find the strength to help.
I’ve learned
that writing, as well as talking, can ease emotional pains.
I’ve learned
I’ve learned
that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon.
Posted via web from Unfold Me
A response…
…to a good post (Online or Offline Dating: Which is safer?)
Hi theresa. My dear friend shared this post and it really caught my attention
Been dating and meeting guys online for how many years now, and yes you are right – there’s no guarantee whether your relationship (if you have one) will work out right or not.
Luckily enough though,almost all the guys I met were honest enough to admit on our first meeting whether they’re engaged,single dads,a drug addict,only out for sex and intimacy or other stuff like that.Their honesty made me weigh my options to whether consider seeing them again or not anymore. I guess its just on my way how to bring out the ‘real’ them which leads to their confession.Ü
I know not all ladies are lucky enough to know guys like these, and still in the midst of finding out how I made them say the truth.
But it all boils down to one thing. It is on how the two of you will treat each other after finding out that you failed or get to meet each other’s expectations – no matter how you two met.
Of course I won’t deny that I have had my own share of false hopes and judgment online. I am just a girl who let’s say is lucky enough on paper or online, but unlucky when it comes to personal meetups.Ü
Thanks for sharing this post and for reading my very long reaction..hehehe.
I’ll definitely follow what my Christian friends always tell me – and you did too – “pray, pray and pray, long and patiently before you plunge into a lifetime commitment”. I am not a pure Christian, but I am very well open to other religion especially if it will make me a better person in the eyes of God. Ü
Keep inspiring women my dear. Godbless you ^.^
HE
He calls me beautiful instead of cute
He likes the simple life I live without complaints
He joined me on my jeepney ride without wishing for the comfort of his car
He walked through the street with little flashflood despite the fact that he hates it
He ate streetfoods with me and relived his “pansit canton” dorm days
He managed to eat with bare hands than in a fine-dining resto
He said i’m not materialistic compared to all the girls he had and met
And that he wish he knew me way back
He likes me for me and everything about me..and never had I met one
He said that I am the one he was waiting for… all his life
I am wishing he stay that way
‘Coz I know deep in my heart that this happens only once..
..The moment you meet the person who accepts and loves you for who you are, despite your past,
Letting that person go is the most stupid thing to do.
~719~
Does The Perfect Girl Exist?
Marie Claire article 113
October 28, 2008 6:54 AM by Rich Santos
I can’t find the “perfect” girl because I’ve created a personality in my mind that may not exist.
My perfect girl could be characterized as a “Tom-Princess”.
Here are five contradictions that exist in my imaginary ideal girl:
1. She is very put together, but she doesn’t mind coming apart.
I go crazy for girls who look polished on the surface: pretty hair cut straight across the back, perfect bangs with that amazing diagonal slant that almost hides one eye. I love when a girl pays attention to fashion too: jeans with heels, creative looks, or anything that just works for her.
(What catches my attention is a guy who has a polished long hair – not too long for a girl’s cut though, umm, how do guys call that hairstyle “clean cut”? As long as he can manage to keep it clean and smell good, it’s a turn-on. Most especially if he runs his fingers through his hair “hawi effect” in Tagalog, then stare at me,that guy will surely make my knees weak..haha. I recently find shaved head “kalbo” guys with not much of a goatee – much better if none – attractive and sexy too! As long as it suits them though. hehe =D )
While she’s polished, I want her to be able to laugh at herself when she’s caught in the rain or when she trips over a rift in the concrete. She’s not always dressed up, she’ll love to veg in sweats as well.
(Yeah, I want my guy to be goofy and can laugh at himself too whenever he does something stupid/funny just to impress me. A too serious and formal guy will really bore me at an instant. And ‘veg in sweats’? Damn, i like to see my guy on that too! haha..so sexy)
She’ll basically walk into a room looking like a goddess, but prove to be very down to earth under all of the polish. She’s the gorgeous one who can drink with the best of them and get a bit rowdy at a party. She likes to get a martini in a nice lounge or check out fine art, but also likes playing flag football, camping or fishing.
(Well, he should be walking into a room looking like he knows almost everybody, yet he won’t forget that he’s with me or I am with him and will be more than willing to introduce me to his friends whenever he passed by one. It will always be a girl’s pleasure being introduced to her guy’s friends. =p He’s the guy who can drink with the best of them and yes get a bit rowdy at a party; yet manages to drive me home safe and secure. He won’t bother going out with me to a nice lounge, talk anything under the sun and enjoy the ambiance; or check out fine art or watch stage plays, but also likes playing like a child in a mall’s Arcade station, camping and travelling with me.)
2. She is really smart, but she doesn’t know so much so that I can’t show her new things.
Another contradiction: I want to meet a girl who has passion for knowledge and is able to teach me random things, and educate me about life. But, she can’t be so smart that I can’t bring anything to the table. (Me too!=p)
3. She has structure in her life, but also appreciates goofiness and nonsense.
We all know one of my major weaknesses is that I have no structure in my life. I’m a poor budgeter of time and money. I need to find someone who can provide structure without nagging me. She needs to be like my best guy friends: I go to them for practical advice to balance my thinking that is driven by imagination and gut reaction.
She needs to give me room to make mistakes, and laugh at me because she finds it hard to believe that anyone’s mind can be as scattered as mine. But she will be a pillar I can lean on and trust.
(I need to find someone who can guide me(not dictate) through my decisions in life, tell me if what I was thinking is way out of my league and impossible to achieve, and would suggest things on how i can act on my plans without making me feel like a dumb princess. He needs to also give me room to make mistakes, and laugh at me as well.)
4. She seeks intellectually stimulating entertainment, but also loves stupid things that don’t make her think.
She needs to have the ability to appreciate the fine arts and expose me to new genres of sophisticated entertainment. But, she also needs to be able to watch goofy films like Sixteen Candles, stupid horror movies, bad TV while making fun of all of it with me. And, of course, she needs to be able to analyze, predict, and appreciate Lifetime movies like my buddies and I do.
(Yup, he needs to have the ability to appreciate the fine arts too and not find it boring and also introduce me to new genres of entertainment in which I may not have known)
5. She needs to be a “girl” but also one of the guys.
This is a delicate mix; I don’t want her to be too much of a guy with my friends. At the same time, if she’s too prissy I’ll get annoyed.
(Well, I dont want my guy to be one of the girls for sure. Haha. Nahh, I just want him to be sensitive enough to understand what a girl could feel whenever he throws tantrums. I want him to befriend my guy friends too. I want him to know my girl friends as well and hope he won’t think or imagine anything romantic with them.)
These contradictions are all based on being a princess, polished and perfect, while vulnerable and down to earth. I find that most girls I’ve met so far in NYC have been too much one way or the other.
When a girl is a total princess, I get annoyed and they come off as icy and inconsiderate. When she’s “one of the guys” then she just becomes a friend and I start trying to go for her friends because I can’t think of her romantically.
In the celebrity world, the closest person to my perfect girl is Amanda Bynes. She’s really cute, and can have that polished look. But at the same time she has a boundless sense of humor and she isn’t afraid to flaunt her inner clutz.
Is defining “perfection” in a girl a dangerous proposition? Perhaps I am creating this impossible girl because I’m ultimately afraid to commit. If I make an ideal that doesn’t exist, maybe I’m unconsciously ensuring that I won’t have a shot at a relationship.
Maybe I just want to date someone who is a really pretty best friend.
Do you think it’s possible to find a girl like this out there? Perhaps I just need to find a mix of everything I want, but not have such rigid requirements on how exact this mix needs to be. If you define your perfect guy, is he full of contradictions like my perfect girl?
(Yes. Full of contradictions like your perfect girl too. A little mix of a romantic-manly-crazy-serious-sexy-loving Man is all I ever wanted. Where is he? heehee :p)
7 Reasons I’m Just Not That Into You
Marie Claire article 108
The movie is hitting theaters everywhere and the cast is on the cover of Marie Claire, here are my reasons…
By Rich Santos
1. Obvious Celebrity Emulation
When a girl gets the same haircut as her favorite celebrity, and dresses like that celebrity on top of this, it is obvious. “Oh that girl thinks she’s Katie Holmes.” Suddenly, all of the focus is off of hearing what this girl has to say and on to the fact that she thinks she’s a particular celeb. It’s also a little psycho to just cop someone else’s style and look.
However, if she can take a celebrity’s style and spin her own take onto it, it can be really attractive and intriguing. I love those winter jackets girls wear sometimes that look like the ones that Jackie O. wore. Just a little Jackie O. flare is fine-you don’t have to try to be her!
2. Lingering After One Night Stands
Don’t ever expect to find the love of your life after a one-night stand or random make-out. These events are phenomena where everything seems magical and then suddenly shuts off — much like Cinderella losing her game at midnight. Do not linger in bed hungover. I’m foul when I’m hungover, so I am sure others are too. You can’t contaminate someone’s bed with that. Do everything you can to get home and fester in your own bed.
3. Rushing Things
Every serious relationship comes to that point where we look at ourselves, our lives, and consider taking that next step into exclusivity and beyond. If I’m not ready to do it then it’s not going to work, and I might literally be frightened off if I perceive that you’re too serious.
4. Lying
Whether it’s cheating or a little lie that you got caught in, it will be hard to regain trust. Trust is something I don’t give away easily and once it’s gone it’s hard to get it back. I’ll always be wondering about that lie, and doubt will creep in more and more as my mind fixates on that lie.
5. Being Too Controlling
It’s scary but I’ve seen many relationships where guys forbid girls to hang out with certain friends, or wear certain clothes – and I’ve seen girls do the same. It’s a major problem if someone is controlling me and not allowing me to be who I want to be within a relationship.
6. My Friends or Family Don’t Like You
My friends and family know me best. Don’t take their thoughts with a grain of salt. It’s one thing if a person or two don’t get along, but if a lot of them are saying I should reconsider, then I will.
7. Attitude Towards Others
When I go out to dinner with a girl, I keep a close eye on how she treats the waiter. Sometimes I feel as if I’m overly cordial to people: I wish them a nice day and always make sure to say “thanks”. It’s fun to be out with a girl and watch her make people smile from afar. It makes me feel proud and lucky that I’m with her. It’s already an amazing thing when I meet a girl that can brighten my days. But if this girl brightens everyone’s days, then I’m even luckier. However, if she doesn’t then I’m just not that into her.
5 Ways You Are Sabotaging Your Relationship
Marie Claire article 107
By Hannah Geller
1. BODY INSECURITIES
You know you have this problem if…
You cringe and cover up when your partner sees you naked.
Compliments make you nervous and defensive.
Thinking about his positive attributes makes you wonder what he’s doing with you.
Why is it a problem?
When we are ashamed of our bodies, we “withdraw sexually” and have trouble “being playful and free,” says relationship expert Dr. Alice Pisciotto. Many people resort to substances to deal with their insecurities (for example, drinking in order to have sex), which can ruin a sense of closeness.
How to fix it:
The first step is awareness: realizing, for example, that when he says, “you look beautiful in that dress” and you hear, “go to the gym,” it’s not because he’s being sarcastic, but because you feel ashamed of your body. The second step is to learn to talk about it in an open, honest way. Explain your insecurities to him, why you think you have them, and how they make you feel. Then, pledge to yourself to throw the symptoms of insecurity out the window. Once you stop calling yourself fat, for example, you may stop feeling so fat.
2. BAD TIMING
You know you have this problem if… You bring up sore points — issues you argue about often or recently — at romantic dinners, family functions, or company events. Or, worse yet, you bombard him with accusations the second you’re alone.
Why is it a problem?
“This really drives guys crazy,” says Pisciotto. Everyone knows that communication is important to a good relationship, but knowing when and where to communicate can be just as important. Bringing up a problem at an inappropriate time or place will almost never solve it, and will become a problem in its own right. And he’ll be reluctant to bring you along to his cousin’s wedding if he’s worried you’ll be shooting him dirty looks all night.
How to fix it:
If you want to talk about a problem, give some forewarning, says Pisciotto. “X is really bothering me. Can we talk about it tonight?” Have a safe, private place where you can talk without feeling uncomfortable. And if you really want to resolve the issues, make sure you are talking in person and never by text message or e-mail.
3. SNAPPING
You know you have this problem if…
Your partner complains you’re always blowing up at him — whether he forgot to pick up the dry-cleaning or threw out the manuscript for the novel you’ve secretly been working on.
Why is it a problem?
You may be using these explosions as a substitute for intimacy, says Pisciotto. “If you say, ‘I love you,’ who knows how he’s going to react?” You may get a grunt, you may get a kiss, you may get some bad news. “But if you scream at him, you know he’s going to scream back.” Excessive anger may be a sign that you’re insecure about his feelings for you. Snapping at him allows you to control his behavior because his response — anger — is predictable. But if he feels like he’s always about to step on a land mine, you may be doing the very opposite: driving him away.
How to fix it:
“This is really an issue of self-awareness,” says Pisciotto. The next time you feel mad at him, ask yourself if your anger is proportionate to the offense. If not, think about why you feel so furious: Are you mad about something else that you haven’t talked about sufficiently? Does his anger reassure you of his feelings (i.e., “if he’s screaming at the top of his lungs, he must be passionate about me”)? Are you insecure about his feelings because of something he has done, or because of something unrelated that happened to you in the past? Instead of blowing up at him, try to calmly and insightfully tell him why you are feeling so enraged. Use “I” sentences instead of “you” sentences: “I felt angry when you didn’t call, because it made me feel like you don’t care about me,” rather than, “You didn’t call me! You don’t care about me!”
4. KEEPING SCORE
You know you have this problem if…
You’re keeping a tally of the gives and the takes.
You say things like, “Yes, we hung out with my friends tonight but I hung out with his friends for the last five days.”
Why is it a problem?
“Keeping score is usually a sign you don’t feel understood, that you don’t feel heard,” explains Pisciotto. You feel that your partner doesn’t realize or appreciate the contributions and sacrifices you make for the relationship. “This becomes the ‘yes, but’ of the relationship,” says Dr. Pisciotto. “Yes, you took me out to dinner tonight, but I paid the last six nights. Yes, you initiated sex tonight, but I always initiate. Yes, you care about me, but I care about you more.”
How to fix it:
When you catch yourself thinking or saying, “Yes, but…” step back and ask yourself why. Is this an isolated incident: Are you really the one who always does the dishes, and you just want him to help out more with household chores? Or is it part of a bigger problem: Do you feel like you always make more sacrifices for the relationship, and the dishes are just one example of many? Keeping score provides you with ammo to win the argument “Who’s the better partner.” It’s childish behavior that you should do your best to minimize. Be hypervigilant when your thoughts slip into the “Yes, but…” pattern. Remind yourself that although you may give more in this particular area — you always pay for dinner out — he may give more in another, like always buying the groceries.
5. LETTING THE PAST DICTATE THE PRESENT
You know you have this problem if…
You blame your current boyfriend for problems you had in your last relationship: Your ex had an affair with his personal trainer, so you tell your new boyfriend you like the “chubby look” to keep him out of the gym.
Why is it a problem?
It’s a basic truth of psychology that “we often repeat problems in order to solve them,” says Pisciotto. For example, when you’re suspicious that your new boyfriend is going to cheat on you, like your ex did, your subconscious is trying to come to terms with the old problem. The effect will hardly be productive: You’re likely to create some new issues with your current boyfriend without solving the issues from your past.
How to fix it:
Take a moment to ask yourself: Are there any issues or arguments you had with a former boyfriend that still bother you? If so, write them down and be on the lookout. The next time you’re angry with your current boyfriend for something similar, ask yourself whether or not he deserves it. If not, Pisciotto recommends telling him about your ex and asking him about his. But be clear that you’re talking about your old flame solely for the purpose of improving your current relationship. Your new guy doesn’t want to hear about how your ex just got a promotion, what a great cook he was, or how amazing he was in bed.
3 Ways To Say “I Love You”
Marie Claire article 105
February 14, 2009 3:21 AM by Rich Santos
The great flexibility in language allows us to say things in so many different ways. So, in honor of Valentine’s Day, here are a few nice ways to say “I love you”:
Create It
All great artists create from inspiration. So, when an artist falls in love, it stands to reason that he or she may create things in honor of that love.
If you have an artistic talent, you can create an original way to say “I Love You”: write a song, paint a painting, write a poem. Don’t overdo it. Like all surprises, it is more impactful to come out of the blue with it. Creating something doesn’t just show someone you love them on actual Valentine’s Day. The creative process takes time, and commitment. Cooking dinner for someone can even be a creative endeavor. Don’t be intimidated if you’re not a “skilled” artist. Your loved one may appreciate it even more if you give it a shot creating something outside your realm of expertise. It’s an adventure for both of you. People know that it takes your own blood, sweat, and tears (unless it’s like the gifts I used to “make” for my mom when I had no money) to create something.
Show It
Ok, I’ll admit that I need to improve my listening skills. I can be looking right at your face while you’re talking but it’s literally going in one ear and out the other. I’ve observed this conflict in a lot of relationships-guys don’t listen. But what if a guy is secretly listening during all of those shopping outings you take together, or all those times that you mention: “you know I really love this,” or “it would be nice to have that?” If he dutifully makes a mental note, saves up and buys the perfect gift that you mentioned three months before, out of the blue, it shows he remembered what you said. Hey, maybe he is listening after all…well once in a while.
Making little sacrifices also shows that you love someone. Perhaps your significant other likes a particular movie genre or music that you’re not into. Don’t make yourself miserable by attending these events all the time. But some time you could take the initiative to invite them/pay for tickets to something they love that you are not “required” to attend regularly. When I meet the right girl, her company will count more than the venue or event. So, I suppose, I could go see Britney Spears with her and be happy…maybe.
Write It
Letter writing is so underrated. In this world of instant messenger, email, cell phones, texting, it’s become a lost art. We’ve forgotten the power of hand-written letters through time: they get people out of prison, they declare wars, they negotiate peace, Jack the Ripper taunted the police with them, they act as timelines for people who have long since passed. It doesn’t have to be that dramatic when you write a letter, but it will have a huge impact. I mean, who writes letters anymore? If you can remember how to write with a pen, you should definitely try this. It takes time, and a lot more effort to actually hand-write a letter. Remember, also, that letters can be packed in envelopes, so they are like little gifts. I once wrote a letter to a girlfriend who I saw every day, but I snail-mailed it. She was so touched because it surprisingly showed up in her mailbox-so you can even change up your delivery methods to add effect. A hand-written letter is much nicer to cherish than an email or a text message-these pieces of data must be deleted to save space for future messages. A hand-written letter is classic and time-tested-it’s a little landmark that says “I love You”. But remember, hand-written words can be immortal: while an immortal “I Love You” is a great thing, it is racked with bitterness if things some day turn sour between you.
“I Love You” takes only a second to say, but a long time to do. If you work hard to say it once in a while it goes a long way, and it’s a great way to include a part of you in the message. Having a little surprise element is great too because someone may know you love them, but they don’t expect you to show it in a particular way.
What’s the best way anyone ever said “I Love You” to you? Do you have other ways to say “I love you,” and what’s the best way you said “I Love You” to someone? Would it have a big impact if someone did any of the above things for you?
Breaking Up Is Easy To Do: 5 Simple Rules
Marie Claire article 104
July 15, 2008 3:08 PM by Rich Santos
A friend of a friend has called his ex-girlfriend six times since she broke up with him. I told my friend to bestow my breaking up advice on him. Whether you want someone back or not, if you follow the rules below, you will maintain your dignity, maybe win the person back, or eventually get over them:
1. Ride Off Into The Sunset
In college I took a class called “American Western Movies”. Give me a break, ok? It was summer session. But this class did teach me something. I learned I wanted to be a cowboy. They are so cool, collect, never play their hand, never look rattled, and they are always confident.
One thing they all did was ride off as the sun set on the horizon after their business was done.
Riding off into the sunset keeps our dignity. When a girl breaks up with me, I will say:
“OK, it was great getting to know you over the past (insert length of time). You take care.”
My business is done.
Then, I will figuratively ride off into the sunset. I won’t tell her how much I miss her. I won’t tell her she made a mistake. I won’t call, email or text. I won’t mention her to mutual friends. I’ll be gone from her life.
Suddenly, it will dawn on the girl that she is not getting her money’s worth for this breakup. It is true: people who do the breaking up have an air of power to them. They like being the decision maker, and having the control. But after I walk away like it’s no problem, she’ll start to think:
“Wow, why isn’t he shaken up over this? Did he even care that I broke up with him?”
Or even better, the ever-popular and coveted:
“Did I do the right thing breaking up with him?”
That’s when you know you’re in business.
2. Apply the Wizard of Oz Effect
Of course, most likely, we are in total pain and anguish after a break up. But, we can’t let that show. Remember:
“Pay no mind to that man behind the curtain?”
We can, behind the curtain, cry, complain, bitch, yell, be angry, and hurt. But, we must craft the appearance on the outside of being fine with everything. We need to look happy on the outside to the other person 100% of the time we see them post-breakup.
This also gives the illusion that you might be seeing someone else, or that you’ve got other things going on. Of course you’re miserable and there’s NOTHING going on in your life, but they don’t have to know it!
3. Enact the Verb in “Breaking Up”
Get rid of all evidence of them. Put it all in a closet, under your bed, or anywhere. I’m a sucker for a strand of hair or her shampoo smell left on a pillow after a girl is over. If broken up with, this must go: wash the sheets! Remember in breaking up, think of it like a guillotine—make it fast:
On a guillotine, you’d rather have a sharp blade slice your head right off than a blunt blade repeatedly cut and cut until finally your head finally fell off.
If it’s a break up they want, make it clean for them. It will look good, and it will be easier on you. Flush them right out of your life immediately, and completely.
4. Don’t Look Back
It’s hard to accomplish this. We know not to look back, just like we know not to look down when someone says don’t look down…but we still look down. But, make it easy on yourself: looking back and saying stuff like:
“Gosh, just two weeks ago, we were out to dinner and she stayed over here and we were so close…”
…will just make it more painful. You can’t look back until it’s time to look back—when you’re truly over it.
5. Remember You’ll Get Over It
The best thing about breaking up is those following mornings you wake up after you’ve truly gotten over someone. You’re renewed, alive, and ready to see what the world has to offer. Keep pushing through for this feeling, remember all those people you thought you’d never get over (you know you ended up getting over them), and as Jim Morrison once crooned: “break on through to the other side!”
Well I don’t know about you, but after going through all that, I’m inspired to get dumped!
So, do you agree with these rules? Do you have any nightmare breakup stories? If a guy you dumped followed these rules, would you start reconsidering? Would you be annoyed if you dumped a guy and he didn’t get upset?
Nine Signs He’s Cheating
Marie Claire article 102
November 14, 2008 3:47 PM by Rich Santos
When you get suspicious that your significant other is cheating, be careful not to appear to be paranoid. You have to walk a fine line — you don’t want to make false accusations.
So, while I’m sharing this list of cheating red flags, I concede that it’s a tricky situation. It’s hard to be sure if someone’s cheating, but protect yourself: Be vigilant, and pay attention to your mind and spirit within the relationship. But, at the same time, be careful not to let anxiety lead the way because unnecessary paranoia will just drive your lover away.
Here are some red flags that may signal that your significant other is cheating:
Less Sex
Unless he’s Superman, he can only have so much sex. So, if he’s getting it from another source, you might notice. Whether it’s another woman or a porn addiction — even if he’s not cheating — a decrease in sex signals serious issues in the relationship.
Jumpy Cell Phone Habits
In a perfect world, we’d be open about sharing our correspondence with our significant others. Most of the time, we trust that we don’t have to worry about who is texting or calling them. But, if you notice that he is getting protective and/or nervous when he gets calls or texts, it may be cause for alarm.
Gushing or Talking About Someone Suddenly
You know that exhilarating feeling you get when you meet someone new and exciting? You want to tell the world about him. One of my exes began talking about a guy a lot near the end of our relationship — he just always seemed to be at her social gatherings that I didn’t happen to attend. Sure enough, after she dumped me, she began dating him.
Disconnect
Even though relationships ebb and flow naturally, if you’re sensing that he’s drawing away from you, then there may be someone else. Emotional disconnect should be investigated regardless of whether it’s caused by cheating. There’s a problem if he’s not laughing or seeming as passionate as usual. It’s hard to spread love/passion between two people, so the person who used to have it will feel it slipping away if it’s being given to someone else.
He’s Pulling Houdinis
If he’s disappearing, traveling, or unavailable to the point where you are starting to wonder, then he could be cheating. Also, these times tend to take on a pattern because it’s tough to synch up schedules, especially in secret.
Friends Acting Strange
His friends will certainly remain loyal to him in most cases. They will not let you know what’s going on, but they will definitely be racked with guilt, and their behavior may change slightly when they are around you while protecting his secret.
Caught in Other Lies About Other Things
If you catch him in a lie, your trust will naturally be damaged. Don’t hold a grudge — forgiveness is a good thing. You can forgive, but don’t forget. If he consistently breaches your trust, it’s establishing a pattern of behavior that leads to cheating. Do yourself a favor: If he keeps lying, whether these lies are big or small, get out while you can and don’t let him talk his way back in.
Been There, Done That
I always say: “Once a cheater, always a cheater.” If he’s done it before, he’s definitely capable of doing it again. It has nothing to do with you, which is why you can’t say that he cheated on his previous lover because she didn’t keep him happy. Cheating is a self-serving act in which the cheater doesn’t take his significant other into consideration. If someone is upfront with you that he’s made mistakes in the past, maybe give them a chance — but make it a long probationary period before you let your guard down.
Your Gut Tells You So
Don’t ignore your sixth sense. People are gifted at sensing when something doesn’t feel right. Whether there are red flags in your relationship that are clueing you in or not, if something feels off, don’t ignore this feeling. Usually that feeling is right, and something intangible may have led to you figuring it all out.
Do you have any red flags that you’d add to this list? Would you say that you’re generally good at figuring cheaters out, or do you seem to find yourself getting cheated on often? What sorts of behaviors do you think are characteristic of someone who could be a cheater?
Four Little Things I Notice About Women
Marie Claire article 101
November 7, 2008 4:49 PM by Rich Santos
They say the “devil is in the details,” but the other night, my friend and I were scanning the bar and noticing minor things about women. After reflecting on our observations, I put together four small things that guys notice that they don’t often point out to women. Here they are:
Hands
I study a girl’s hands pretty intensely. Beautiful hands can portray daintiness and strength at the same time. I notice manicures, and complexion. I imagine what it’s like to hold them. I’m not much of a hand holder, but pretty hands will turn me into a hand holder. I even watch how a girl grips things. There are definitely different objects and shapes that look amazing in a girl’s hands, such as a wine glass. A wine glass has delicate curves that play off a woman’s hands. When I notice fingers that are appealing to me, I imagine how those fingertips would feel.
Hair
I’ve mentioned hair before, so I wouldn’t say it’s a “little thing”. But hair can do simple actions that can evoke powerful emotions. One day I ran into my friend on the way to work-the friend that wore high heels to the soccer game. One thing’s for sure: this girl really knows how to take care of and do her hair. We were just talking and walking when a gust of wind blew right down the street and ran through her hair. The indescribable motion that took place in her hair was beautiful. I even noticed that a random guy we passed turned his head and looked. I didn’t realize until the day was over, but seeing that gust of wind go through my friend’s hair put me in a good mood the rest of the day. So, while hair is a big deal, little random moments can create big, great things.
Attitude Towards Others
When I go out to dinner with a girl, I keep a close eye on how she treats a waiter or hostess. Does she say “thanks,” and generally act polite and respectful? Sometimes I feel as if I’m overly cordial to people: I wish them a nice day and always make sure to say “thanks”. But, what makes a woman has to do with more than just how she treats me. A person with a beautiful personality treats everyone nicely and respectfully. It’s fun to be out with a girl and watch her make people smile from afar. It makes me feel proud and lucky that I’m with her. It’s already an amazing thing when I meet a girl that can brighten my days. But if this girl brightens everyone’s days, then I’m even luckier.
What Does She Notice?
It’s fun meeting different people because they always bring a new perspective. When I break down music I love for people, they ask how I even care about every last little sound and note that I analyze and point out to them. What little things does a woman notice or point out? If we go to a Broadway show, for example, does she notice something in the background set? Does she notice the couple in front of us that are very much in love? Does she notice that the usher hates us because we are whispering and showed up just as the lights were going down? Sure, we share big thoughts and ideas with one another, but sometimes you can learn a lot about a person just by the details they notice in life and moments. It is a fun adventure going out with someone who can laugh at and notice little things, and who always brings new insights to different situations.
Once I realized that I was noticing little things, I came to the conclusion that little simple moments are just part of overall beauty. Beauty can be defined in a collection of moments, or memories more often than it can be defined by someone’s appearance.
Seeing a girl across the room, holding a wine glass with pretty hands and making people smile, or a moment in the morning where the wind runs through a girl’s hair, or a girl I’m noticing someone walking by in a Members Only jacket, are simple moments that should never be taken for granted.
What is a little thing (appearance, moment or personality) that you notice in a guy that is a simple, beautiful thing?
5 Reasons He Might Cheat
Yahoo article 107
by David Zinczenko, on Thu Jul 10, 2008 1:18pm PDT
When a high-profile man is caught with someone other than his wife, it’s enough to get the collective voice of women asking a whole bunch of why questions.
Why do men cheat? Why can’t they control themselves? Why do they have to pay for it? The answer may seem simple at first (if he’s not being satisfied at home, he’ll roam the neighborhood). But the reasons are a little more nuanced than that.
Some guys are simply serial cheaters – think about the trail of rumors that followed Bill Clinton into the White House. But other guys seem like upstanding citizens until wham, bam, thank you ma’am, they show exactly how low they’re willing to go. What is it, then, that triggers a normally faithful man to cross the line from being committed to breaking trust, from home cooking to ordering out?
1. Power (or Cash)
It’s not to say that entry-level men who make minimum salaries don’t cheat, but it’s also pretty clear that powerful men with the means to withdraw hefty sums of cash (for hotels, gifts, prostitutes) are often candidates. It’s not just because they have more options; it’s also because they think their invincibility in the office will also extend to their private lives, which they assume will remain private no matter how high-profile they may be. Arrogance is a form of blindness, after all.
2. A Sudden Change in Status
Maybe your guy isn’t a celebrity, but has he gone from middle management to senior exec lately? Simply making the leap from corporal to captain can put a guy in a difficult spot – he’s suddenly separated from his office crew, facing challenges at work that you may not relate to, and looking for someone to tell his woes to – even if it costs $1,300 to get her to keep quiet and leave after he’s seemingly unburdened himself.
3. The Family Circus
I’m not saying it’s right, and I’m not saying it’s fair, but some men can feel like they’re last in the family pecking order once the gaggle of children dominates schedules, time, and his wife’s attention. That doesn’t mean that kids drive their fathers to cheat, nor does it mean that families are to blame. It just means that the situation can make some men more vulnerable to be influenced by…
4. An Unexpected Ego Stroke
A note from an ex, a compliment from a co-worker, a good rapport with a server at his favorite bar. If the affection in his primary relationship dwindles as time goes on, a guy’s hormones can skyrocket when he feels the charge of a new woman showing some attention. Most times, innocent bantering is just that, but coupled with other triggers, the chemical reaction is a dangerous one.
5. Cyber ‘Safety’
Plain and simple: The Internet has made it easier for men to feel safer-in everything from looking for dates and mates to sending innuendo-laced IMs to the hot coworker on the third floor.
The apparent safety of flirting in his own keyboard can build an unhealthy feeling that everything he’s doing is OK, making it more likely he can slip into making some very stupid choices. An addictive personality only compounds the problem.
Top 10 Reasons Why Women Cheat
Yahoo article 105
by vega love, on Fri Dec 12, 2008 1:12am PST
10. The relationship isn’t THAT serious. In the beginning, you may find yourself in a brand new relationship, you’re just dating but you really like the guy but you aren’t quite sure if you want to be exclusive, men, you better not take too long to figure it out and seal the deal(right). While you’re out there dating or talking to a couple of other girls to make sure she’s the right one for you, she could be doing the same thing! Unfortunately for you, women get hit on almost everyday, it could just be for sex or whatever the circumstance, but we get attention out there no matter what we look like-there is always someone who is willing to get in our pants. Fortunately, we have been turning men down since the beginning of time, so unlike you, the predator, we are the type of prey that can say NO and walk away(uhuh!Ü). When you think you are not quite ready to settle down as you go from one woman to the next, you are really wasting time on the girls you don’t really like instead of investing time in the one you really want. If you don’t seal the deal while she’s really into you, you just might blow it, and she knows it!(you bet!)
9. They are bored in the relationship. When women get bored with their man they may seek comfort in the arms of a stranger or an old familiar flame. They get bored when the sparks no longer fly, they are stuck in a routine at home or in the relationship, and if their man isn’t paying attention to them or they aren’t having anymore fun together. Women need romance, dancing, dinners, spontaneous getaways, anything that will keep them guessing and make them feel special. The longer you leave gaps in between the romance, some other guy may be filling in for you. When the man she loves is spending too much time and attention on himself or his other interests, it is a complete turn-off for women because we want to be the center of his world (this is true!), and when we aren’t, we know that someone else will place us on a peddle stool. You’ve seen the chick flicks guys, how much more do we need to spell it out for you?!
8. They aren’t getting what they want out of the relationship. Most women want a place to call home, especially a house, they want a marriage or some type of commitment, and eventually, they want to start a family. If they have been in a long term relationship and nothing seems to be materializing from it, they will consider straying if they haven’t already. Women need to know their place in your life, we want to know that you are in it to give them that happily ever after, and if you don’t step it up, then you need to proceed with caution. It isn’t about sex, it’s about being with a man that is ready to GROW UP and take the relationship to the next level. No matter what we say, we need the ring, the piece of paper, the contract, the whole sha-bang! We don’t want to be your baby mama, but if that’s what it takes to get you to commit, then some women will take that route and make you miserable for the rest of your life, all because… you didn’t give her want she wants or needs in the relationship. Remember guys, there will always be someone else out there that will promise her the world if you aren’t already giving it to her (ouch anyone?).
7. When he has too much baggage. Psycho ex girlfriends, baby mama drama, ex-wives with too much control, a meddling mother, over-protective siblings, bratty kids and friends that don’t know when to go home, will take their toll on a woman. There is nothing more unattractive then a man that has too much baggage(correct!). Women will begin to take a look at their options out there no matter how nice or great of a guy her man is. A man can spoil her rotten, treat her with love and respect, but if his mama always has something to say, if his parents drop by unannounced, or are rude when her man isn’t around, she will begin to resent the number one woman in your life, her arch-enemy… Yo’ MAMA! If your ex, baby mama, or ex-wife causes too many problems in your relationship, you better do whatever you can to keep her because that is some bull-stuff that she will only take for so long. What’s worse is if you can’t control your own kids, that is also a major turn off because she wants you to be the MAN, not the doormat! When your friends come over too much or stay too long, you’re not doing couples activities and you’re all just sitting around playing video games, that will make you all look like a high school boy instead of the man she knows you can be. If you seem to be fighting about other people in your lives, that is definitely a red flag that she is not happy, so schedule time with your friends or family and let her go do whatever she likes to do then meet up latter. Whatever you do, don’t keep repeating the same thing over and over when she tells you she doesn’t like something (or someone) take care of the problem like a man, don’t keep irritating her. When you really love someone, you will make the simple effort to make little changes for the benefit of the relationship; its all about compromise(COMPROMISE baby. Its all about compromise). If a man has too much baggage, there will be a drama free man out there just waiting for a chance to be with her, especially if she isn’t carrying much baggage of her own(uhuh!).
6. They won’t leave something for nothing. When you’re just not getting along and you seem to be fighting a lot, fellas beware! Most women won’t have a clean break because we need to “get under someone new, to get over someone old.” That’s right, this is something even our mothers and grandmothers know now a days! That is why we always tend to have a “rebound guy,” you know, the guy after the serious long-term relationship, before the string of one night stands and mini-relationships that will eventually lead to the new and improved relationship with someone better then you. Don’t be mistaken, women are a lot more slick than we have been given credit for, and you won’t even see it coming. By the time you’re ready to “work things out” she may be on to bigger and better things, so if you know you love her and want to be with her, you better fix the problems before you get replaced. We think about our feelings and emotions a lot before we stray or start looking for the rebound guy, by the time we act on it, we have made up our minds and moved on. All you need to know is that the plan was well thought out before it was executed(well said).
5. Ok, sometimes it is about the SEX. If a girl is having trouble climaxing, no matter how great of a guy you are, or if you have a mortgage, lease or kids together, she just might stray, depending on how bad it is and how much she really loves you. You could be rich, offer her everything under the sun, but if you can’t deliver the kind of lovin’ she needs, you’re headed for trouble, because there is an easy remedy to cure that little problem. You will find that more and more women will have a Cha-cha(this is the first time i heard about this word Ü). , a guy they can call on whenever, wherever, to take care of their sexual appetiteUnlike a booty call, a Cha-cha knows you’re in a relationship, he might be in one too, but he is readily awaiting her number appearing on the Caller ID of his cell phone. He is the guy that will give her presents AND orgasms, but he never calls her, she calls him. Men have their “old reliables” that they call when they are having a dry spell, women do too, but the Cha-cha is a special man that takes care of her wants and needs in different ways than a booty call and an old reliable. He is also there when you aren’t acting right, he will console her after a fight, even if she doesn’t mention a word about it, and he is there if she hasn’t lined him up already, if you are having any of the issues from 6-10 in addition to the bad sex. Women have sexual and emotional needs that require your attention and if you aren’t giving it to them, someone else will without a doubt!(hmmm…i think i know a guy who’s aware of this. He sure doesn’t want to be in a relationship if the girl is not good in bed and he wants to make sure he satisfies her so he won’t be replaced.hahaÜ)
4. When things start to go sour. Let’s face it, women need a lot of attention, we have feelings and emotions that run deeper than any of the seven seas in the whole wide world. If you forget her birthday, an anniversary, or any other special day or if you skimp out on the other important days like Valentine’s Day, Mother’s Day, Christmas, New Years Eve or WHATEVER, she will feel unappreciated and that is a major red-light danger zone!(right!) If you are so caught up and busy doing whatever it is that you do, even if you are working a lot to pay bills and what not, at the very least… you better remember the days that count! The rule of thumb here is that you need to show your appreciation to her, show her how special she is and how much she means to you(yes please). Say thank you in little ways, because every woman will tell you, “it’s the little things that count.” The reason the little things count is because they all add up to one big thing, whether or not you appreciate her enough. If she baby’s you when you’re sick, packs your lunches, makes you dinner every night, if she cuts your hair, or makes you feel special by throwing you a surprise party, or gets you little thoughtful gifts here and there, no matter what the occasion, she is doing her best to make you feel special, loved and appreciated. We will never say it out loud, but we’re expecting you to do it for us too. Picking up some flowers “just because” is a great way to show her, taking her out for a romantic dinner will also do the trick, getting her a card to say you’re sorry, or giving her a little something because you love her, will always work wonders. If not, there is always some guy out there that will give her the works and charm those panties off by sweeping her off her feet.
3. If the relationship gets physical, in a bad way. Don’t think that you could ever completely control a woman. If you try to use scare tactics, if you hit her, beat her up, or threaten her, she can and will stray at some point, it is just a matter of when. If you are verbally or emotionally abusive, we may play the victim card but every woman can be pushed to her breaking point until enough is enough(correct!). There are way more nice guys then evil ones out there and if you didn’t know this already, we have been trained to await our night in shining armor, thanks to Disney. You can beat us to the ground and we will pick ourselves up because even though we love you and you hurt us in anyway, there is always another guy waiting to save that damsel in distress. We all know how much women talk, we talk about everyone and everything, so if she’s with friends or at work spilling her guts out to someone else, anywhere else, the other women will be more than willing to set her up with someone great that they know, and most guys would love to play the part of the hero.
2. When she doesn’t come first in your life. If you put other people before her then she will eventually stray and find herself in bed with a guy that will put her first. A woman has to feel like she is your number one priority outside of your real responsibilities like work or school, since women can be considered your partner, she needs to be treated as such, and more. When you’re spending more time or money on your Mom, or anyone else other then her, you will have some problems. If you spend too much time at work and not enough time on her, there will be a big fight around the corner(nahh…i wont fight…but once a guy hits my boiling point by not showing up or by not making a way to have time for me, i might. Ü). I know it sounds selfish, but that is just the way we are.
Think about it, when a man has a little girl, he is over protective of her, he spoils her, and she is his princess forever. When Dad is around, she is on her best behavior because she knows that if she plays her cards right, she can get whatever she wants from him… Mom on the other hand, is different. Mothers and daughters have a different relationship, they teach us all the domestic knowledge we need to be a wife and mother, cooking, cleaning, taking care of kids, etc. Usually, the father will discipline the kids, but he is always easier on his little girl than on his boys. There are Daddy’s girls, and Mama’s boys, there is a method to that madness. You see, mothers make it difficult for any woman to measure up because most guys want a girl kind of like his mom, in a way, and women want a strong, providing, generous man, like her daddy. Women just want a guy to make her feel like a princess, so if you’ve got other things on that peddle stool, you better make room for her because if she isn’t your number one, she will belong to someone else in no time. It’s not just about people either, it is also habits and addictions, like drugs or video games, if you spend more time on the Playstation III or getting high, she will find a more mature man that will place that crown on her head and slip on that glass slipper.
1. Whatever you can do, we can do it better. If you have cheated on us and we take you back, you better be on your toes every minute of every day! Don’t think you are in the clear just because she forgave you, you better watch how she interacts with your brother, your cousins, your best friends, co- workers, and anyone with a penis. She will go for the jugular fellas, and I am not playing! If you break her heart and she gives you a second chance, she is probably going to start plotting the biggest, heart-breaking performance of her life. Just when you think it’s all water under the bridge, you will find your heart ripped out, stomped on and spit on, under that bridge. Every woman handles it differently, she will either go for someone close to you, or she will slowly but surely, be with someone else behind your back, whether you find out about it or not is up to her. She may take you back, all the while knowing that she has slept with someone else, because in the back of her mind, “what you don’t know won’t hurt.” Trust me fellas, she will smile in your face and act like everything is normal, but behind that grin lies the remnants of a broken heart plotting away vengeance. You see, it is so much easier for a woman to cheat, all we have to do is say “yes”. Men love the thrill of the chase, they are natural predators, and once they have a piece of the pie, they are done with it because the thrill of the chase is over. If they get caught it’s because they weren’t doing it right, they got sloppy, and weren’t paying attention. Women on the other hand, are very detail oriented, if she gets caught, she probably wanted to. Women will sleep with a guy even if he has a significant other, we are competitive that way. If the girl you cheated on knew about your woman, she was in it for the competition, you really mean nothing to her; sorry guys. Women always think they are better than other women, even sisters are rivals, but you are the fool that gets caught in the middle. If you don’t end up with one of the two, you will end up alone, because a woman doesn’t really want the guy that cheats on his chick with her because he will probably do it to her too. The woman who got cheated on will either take you back and get you back to even the score, or she will not have anything to do with you. It’s all a game, and most of the time… it’s the men that play the fools.
I know this all sounds horrible, and you probably think that women aren’t like that, but if you really believe that, then you are naive. Women are not nice when you hurt them or don’t treat them the way they deserve to be treated. They will strike when you least expect it, she will hurt you in away you never thought possible, and if she did it all because of something you did or failed to do, she will do it without a single regret. A woman scorned will do the impossible and the unbelievable; you will not be prepared for the atomic bomb she will drop on you. It could be days, weeks, months, years, but she knows she is in control and she will take her time to get you back.
Let’s go back to the beginning, remember how Eve convinced Adam to eat that apple? Well, that’s the kind of power we have over men. Don’t think for a moment, that you are special, men are disposable, sad but true. Anything you won’t do for us, someone else will be more than willing to step up and take care of us, and that’s the guy that gets the trophy wife. The self-absorbed, naive man, is still a boy to us, and what we really want, is a MAN(yeah! what I really want IS A MANÜ).
A woman will love you whole heartedly if you play your cards right, but if you don’t, she will call your bluff and walk away with the pot, take your pride with her, and leave you all alone to figure out how the heck she pulled it off.
9 Reasons People Cheat
Yahoo article 104
viewed on 032109
by Rich Santos, Marie Claire, on Mon Mar 16, 2009 8:05am PDT
Why do I find it so easy not to cheat?
Maybe I’m not very attractive, so my options are limited. Maybe I’m too jaded to go for the cheating opportunities. Maybe I still have some mental wounds lingering from when my dad temporarily moved out because he had met another woman. Maybe I’m too afraid that I’ve reached my sin quotient and one more big sin will keep me out of heaven.
Cheating is not a caught in the moment thing if you are really into your significant other, you miss them when you are not with them, you don’t look for a way to hurt or deceive them.
I am just now patching up a friendship with someone I was seeing while they had a boyfriend (that may make me a cheater). At different points she told me that she had broken up with her boyfriend, that they were back together, and that he was boring and I was fun. It was total confusion.
I told her she wasn’t being fair to herself, me, or him.
Finally, she said, “you just don’t understand, there are things you don’t know.” Thing is she’s been cheating on him for a couple of years with different guys, and he keeps taking her back.
So, are cheaters born cheaters, or do certain situations cause people to cheat? Probably a little bit of both. Here are some situations that make people cheat:
1. Bored
I’d say this is the most common reason that people cheat.It’s tough to keep that edge throughout a relationship. Things start off grand and then level off and then you both realize that it’s still real life. When you meet someone else, that inaugural excitement of a new relationship kicks back in.
2. Dependence
At first glance, cheating seems like independent behavior. It could be interpreted as doing what you want, when you want. But I would argue that cheating is a dependent behavior. A cheater is dependent because they are not strong enough to break up with their significant other in order to get with the new person.
3. Confusion
Sometimes life or a particular situation can get to you. When the perfect storm of confusion is going on in your head, you make mistakes.
4. Because They Let You
If any girl ever cheated on me, I’d break up with her immediately. Forgiving a cheater is putting up with it, and starts a vicious cycle. That person who cheated may lose respect for you and might continue to cheat-because they know they can get away with it, because you’ll continue to take them back.
5. Nurturing
If someone is mistreating you, then your first instinct is to get away from him or her. But sometimes it’s not that simple-maybe you are raising kids together. If you feel trapped in a bad relationship, it’s only natural that you will run to the open arms of a person who treats you well.
6. Revenge
This is quite simple- an eye for an eye. Cheat on them if they cheat on you. If they continuously hurt you or abuse you in some way, you do it to get them back.
7. Confirmation of Attractiveness
Sometimes when you’re in a long relationship, or if your significant other is taking you for granted, you begin to wonder if you’re still attractive. Perhaps, because you were out on the dating circuit, you felt more attractive when you were single. If you have an affair, you’ve proven that a new person can be attracted to you.
8. The Thrill
Some people just enjoy the thrill of cheating: running around secretly, risking getting caught, andcreating thrilling moments with a forbidden romance.
9. They Don’t Consider It Cheating, Even Though You Might
Relationships have that grey area, usually right before you become exclusive. He thinks date #4 is when you’re “together,” and you think date #2 is when you’re “together.” If you haven’t talked about exclusivity, someone may think they are well within their rights to see other people, even though the other person in the relationship may not.
I don’t understand why people don’t break up as soon as they have an urge to cheat. Is it natural to have temptation, or is temptation a sign that the relationship is losing its fire? What reasons would you add to this list, and do you disagree with any? If you’ve ever cheated, why did you do it? Could you forgive a cheater? If you are single, but seeing a person who is in a committed relationship, does that make you a cheater?
44 ThinGs A GIRL would die for… indeed! [old post]
~45th is my contribution..hehe~
1-touch her waist
2-talk to her
3-share secrets
4-give her your jacket
5-kiss her slowly
are you remembering this?
6-hug her
7-hold her
8-laugh with her
9-invite her somewhere
10-let her be with you when you’re
with your friends
keep reading
11-smile with her
12-take pics with her
13-pull her onto your lap
14-when she says she loves you more,
deny it. fight back
15-when her friends say i love her
more than you, deny it. fight
back and hug her tight so she cant get
to her friends. it makes
her feel loved
Are you thinking about someone?
16-ALWAYS HUG HER AND SAY “I LOVE YOU”
WHEN YOU SEE HER.
17-kiss her unexpectedly
18-HUG HER FROM BEHIND AROUND THE WAIST
19-tell her shes beautiful… not sexy!
20-TELL HER THE WAY YOU FEEL ABOUT HER!
oh, and on that last one… u need to
show her you mean it too
21-kiss her on the lips
22-DONT ask her to buy you stuff. you
buy HER stuff
23-tell her what feels good
24-make her feel loved
25-buy her stuff. small things can
still help
we might deny it but we actually like
and kinda want you to get
us things
26-DONT LIE TO HER
27-DONT CHEAT ON HER
28-take her anywhere she wants
29-txt message or call her in the
morning and tell her have a
good day at school/work, and how much you
miss her
30-be there for her when ever she
needs you, & even when she
doesn’t need you, just be there so
she’ll know that she can
always count on you
are you still reading this? u better
be, its important
31. Hold her close when she’s cold so
she can hold you too.
32. When you are alone hold her close
and kiss her.
33. Kiss her on the cheek; (it will
give her the hint that you
want to kiss them).
34. While in the movie, put your arm
around her and then she
will automatically put her head on
your shoulder, then lean in
and tilt her chin up and kiss her
lightly.
35. Dont ever tell her to leave even
jokingly or act like you’re
mad. If shes upset, comfort her
remember this next time you are with
her
36. When people diss her, stand up for
her.
37. LOOK DEEP INTO HER EYES AND TELL
HER THAT YOU LOVE HER
38. Lay down under the stars and put
her head on your chest so
she can listen to the steady beat of
your heart, Link your
fingers together while you whisper to
her as she rests her eyes
and listens to you.
39. When walking next to each other
grab her hand.
40. When you hug her hold her in your
arms as long as possible
MAKE SURE SHE KNOWS SHES LOVED
41. Call her at night to wish her
sweet dreams.
42. Comfort her when she cries and
wipe away her tears.
43. Take her for long walks at night.
44. ALWAYS REMIND HER HOW MUCH YOU
LOVE HER
45. BE CONSISTENT please Ü
When a Rocker meets a Thespian [old post]
~ January 2, 2009 blog ~
I wonder how a rocker, with their hard facade and image happens to know how a thespian feels and kind of need at the moment…It was a surprise knowing that not all rockers are that difficult to deal with. In fact, it was surprising enough to know that a rocker could still have the courage to be a self-proclaimed hopeless-romantic type of guy and that he easily falls in love.
Hmm…really sounds confusing, but one thing i cant help but notice was the ounce of sensitivity he has and how a good conversation could come up unnoticed. Also, how that particular guy could manage to be so deep in his own words and thinking, that a great start i know wont come to an abrupt end. Ü
When a Rocker meets a Thespian, you wouldn’t have a problem dealing with “dead airs”.
But i would still keep my fingers cross…a Thespian’s mind could be bothered after a few days if a rocker wont keep up to what he started…..
Or so I thought… :(
~ a response to my previous blog August 28,2008 ~
The longer i thought my wait is over, the faster our relationship ended…
Three months in a row of not seeing each other is such a very obvious sign of a bad relationship, right?
Good if it’s a long distance love affair…but heck its not…
I still cant see the point why the word “Busy” could be such a great tool in destroying a just-started relationship. I still cant see the point why he couldn’t find time for me. Dati naman nagagawa niya.
Its just so crazy because it has been what…more than a month now but i still cant get over what he did…Three months of not seeing each other, then all of a sudden, i found my name off his friend’s list. He took me off.
Dapat nga natauhan nako sa ginawa niyang un eh…that was a clear sign that he no longer loves me and care for me. But here i am, still hoping he’ll have the guts to call or text or leave me an offline message just to let me know what happened to us…and why he did that.
Mistakes have been made. I wont deny na may mali din akong ginawa. But damn! When will he realize the reason why i demanded time for him was because girlfriend niya ako? When will he realize that the reason why I wanted to see him was because i love him and i want to take care of him kahit sandali lang?
I dunno why im still holding on…until now…damn it… 
i hate feeling like this…
Expect The Unexpected
.011909.
How would you feel when a person u barely knew from the past suddenly just popped up and said things which caught u offguard?
I’ve known this guy from like year of 2006. The first time we met was nothing extraordinary. He took me out for lunch in this prominent “eat-all-you-can” resto and ordered the special meal for me. He sat beside me and looked at me like I was the most beautiful girl around that place. Then he suddenly asked me if I have a boyfriend. Being the real single girl at that time, I said none, then he asked me if I can look at him in the eye and say it. I did..much to his surprise and he believed me.
Of all the guys I dated, he was the only one who had the guts to ask me right then and there, and even look me in the eye long enough to search for the truth.
His gentleman acts really knocked me off my feet and his smile melted me. Not until I realized where we’re heading after lunch. He invited me to sleep with him. I was surprised, but one thing lead to another. We started going out for one too many times and do the deed like nothing will keep us apart.
I liked him at that time…but what pisses me off was his arrogance. Granted he is a ‘dating guru’ for this much known online site, i cant imagine how he made me fall for his charm. But his arrogance got on the way when i introduced him to one of my set of friends.
They didn’t like him. They said I wont be happy with him. I agreed. Because by the time I introduced him to my friends, he just kept quiet and had this facial expression that he wanted to leave right away with me. Away from my friend’s house. Since then, I didnt feel he’s serious with me anymore.But still I chose to stay and leave the place with him. We checked-in again to one of this hotels and did it again. I dunno, but it was only then that i realized that I wasn’t pleased with him at all. All he think of was himself and how he will be satisfied.
So i did what i have to do. I took him off my mind…dated other guys, been through with 2 more relationships…days, months and years gone by…then he suddenly sent me a message after 3yrs of no communication.
He said he realized his mistakes. He said he wanted me back. He said he ddnt know why after all these years he chose to keep my number on his phone. He said he wants another chance. He said he wants a relationship. With me.
He said mistakes have been done,and that he felt sorry and guilty for leaving me that way. He felt sorry for what he did to me and for hurting me. Of all the girls he dated, he wanted me.
Why now when I am still coping up with another crazy relationship (if i can consider what I have now a ‘relationship’)? Why now when I am hurting and starting to doubt my self-worth?
I just dont know what to say and if I should believe him now.
He’s the last person I can think of who will do this to me.
He didn’t even cross my mind for a very long time.
And yet here he is…
Saying words i unexpected for him to say…
and here he is…
saying that he’s all charged up now and is more than willing to make ammends to what he did before.
Here he is…telling me that I dont need to fear and doubt because we’re adults now, he learned from his mistakes, and I have his word now as a Man ready to redeem himself for me and be loved by me.
“God, is this you who’s working on him? Should I let him into my life once again? Should I give him another chance for love?”
(,u.u)
When a long distance relationship is not long distance at all…
He’s just a few buildings away from me at work.
Yet he cant find time to see me.
I tried to surprise him on our first monthsary by bringing him a cake and a special gift, but he never showed up because their conference meeting has just started when he arrived. So i ended up going home.
He’s just a few miles away from where i live.
In fact only a few hours drive will get him to me.
He’s not even out of the country to find it hard in visiting me at home when im sick.
But what do i get at the end of the day?
Wishful thinking that he’ll make an effort “personally” to be with me.
All I get is an excuse that he’s “too busy” to spend time with me.
I understand his line of work, and that he’s the boss, and that his developers will have nothing left to do if he wont finish a project assigned to him.
But up to when will I be waiting?
If i’ll be the one to make the first move, i’m afraid he’ll think of me as a demanding or persistent girlfriend. What if he dont want a girl like that? I dont want to lose him just because I made a move to see him.
Besides,i already tried. And everytime i make my move, of setting up a date or meeting with him, i always get rejected with the same excuse. So I decide not to.
Now, help me.
I want to show him that I do understand his lack of time for me for the time being.
But I also want to let him know how difficult it is for me to just wait. Two months of not seeing each other is too much. I cant bear with it.
If only he is living on the other side of the world, i would understand…but he’s not.
If the only communication line we have is just the internet, i would understand…but there’s the telephone – he won’t even give me a call, even at his break time.
I know most of you already knows the answer to my question and would say, “Girl, he’s not just into you”.
But consider this:
there was never a day he failed to say he loves and misses me even if he’s in a middle of a meeting.
Even if he only sends those words on my cellphone, i still appreciate it.
But it takes more than that right?
When my patience is put into test…
yeah…good things come to those who wait…
but when is being patient considered too much?
is it when all you could ever think of is when he/she will realize your existence?
is it when all you wish for is him/her by your side when you’re feeling down?
or when its time to feel that you’re being taken for granted by the one you love?
is there really such thing as waiting so long and being too much patient?
john.1014
The Meetup
Starbucks
Podium
September 1, 2008
2:15pm
I arrived 15mins late from the 2pm meeting we originally agreed to.Only to find out, he’ll arrive by 3:00pm.
Well, that’s alright. I was the one who told him not to go yet in our meeting place without me telling him to do so. Just so he can still finish his work and take care of his developers, and me to have time for travel. He just rushed out of the office to see me without asking for permission. Besides, he’s the boss. So that’s fine. Ü
Anyway, words are not enough to express how happy i am to finally see him. God, he really doesnt look his age at 30. He looked….25 Ü amazing…hehe..
He knows how to take care of himself and that’s one thing I admire about him.
Another is he does multitasking very well..haha (i.e. having lunch on his desk while in a conferenced call and talking to me through YM Ü) not that he’s unethical or anything, as long as he’s not chewing while talking with his clients *wink*
Plus, he knows when to make me laugh and when to catch my emotions. In short,he sure knows how to handle a good conversation.
oOo
5:30pm
I just got home..
He said he enjoyed my company…
I said likewiseÜ
My long wait is over
it really feels good to love and be loved in return…
finally, after years of waiting, i felt so loved…
finally, i felt that this is my time to be pampered…
finally, i felt like this is my chance for love
its all about me now…
but of course, its always good to return the favor
and its unlike me to not give him the love he fully deserve.
thats where im good at..hehe (,^u^)
YOU.Speak